OH DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF FEMINIST THEORY RIGHT NOW!
Have I made that clear enough? I HATED the class last night. It was a bunch of women whining about how it's so hard to be a woman.
Before I get lynched and have my vagina taken away from me let me explain that yes, as a woman I do want to be treated equally. And that yes I do deserve the same amount of respect as a man.
But rather than whining about not getting respected, I get out there with the big boys and demand it. I can hold my own in any room, in any situation, and I don't let anyone tell me that my place is lower than theirs.
The class started with a 30 minute writing assignment "What it means for me to be a woman" or "What defines me as a woman". At the end of the 30 minutes we had to stand up and read our papers. Some women stood up and said they resent their husbands because as a wife they are expected to work a full day in an office, come home to cook dinner and clean the house, and then head out to school, while their husbands don't have to do anything but work.
Are these women expected to do those things because they are a woman, or because they are with a man that has bought into those gender roles and won't allow for any other options? I know that I couldn't be with a man that wouldn't cook dinner, or help clean the house. A relationship is an equal partnership and I choose to not be around men that won't help with "woman's work".
One girl said when her and her boyfriend go to the movies she is always checking his face to see his reactions. What?!?!?!?! She then made it worse by saying that she sometimes gages her reactions based on his. And this defines her as a woman, because this means women are more concerned with emotions than men.
Oh, where to begin with this poor student? First of all yes, women can be more emotional than men, it has to do with biology, but plenty of men out there are emotional as well. (psst, those are the men that are going to help you cook and clean). But at the same time you need to own your emotions and go with them. You can't look to a man to see if you should be laughing or crying. You need to decide if it's a time to laugh, cry, or both of those together.
Some women said they don't want to get married because marriage means losing a part of yourself. These woman probably look at marriage as "finding your other half" or "becoming someones better half". The last time I checked 1 + 1 =2. Marriage is not about losing yourself, but bringing yourself to be part of a partnership. An equal partnership.
Am I being too preachy yet? Can you tell I was about to lose my mind in this class?
By the time I finally stood up I knew I was a minority in the class, being that I'm not angry or upset because I'm a woman.
I told the class that until recently I was engaged, but I did not cancel the wedding because I resent marriage, but because I just didn't feel like an equal in the relationship. I said rather than enter into a lifetime of resent towards my husband I changed my plans. I have no ill feelings towards marriage and look forward to getting married to a man that respects me. At this the class picked up their flaming torches and pitchforks.
I then told them that I enjoy being a woman. Some other classmates said they resent being physically weaker than men. They hate not being able to change a flat tire. I said that I am not physically weak and that my workout partner is male and on many exercises I can do more weight than him or at least keep up with him. And that I can change a flat tire, but why should I when there are boys around to do it for me?
At this statement the class proceeded to throw rocks and other heavy blunt objects at me.
I then made them hate me more by saying that recently I was told by a man that I'm "a man with breasts" and I was not offended by this. For me that meant that I am getting equal respect from men and yet I'm stilling being seen as a woman. The professor asked me to clarify further and I explained that when I'm around boys I go toe to toe with them. If they say something rude or crude rather than faking embarrassment or shock I go one step further and say something worse.
By the time I finished that statement the class had chased me down the hall, through the parking lot, and right off of campus with their torches and pitchforks.
After me a handful of other people went and at the end the professor said that she really enjoyed our ideas and that the class would have a group therapy feel to it since we are discussing theories that apply to our lives. I didnt sign up for group therapy and I DON'T WANT GROUP THERAPY. I AM NOT ANGRY THAT AM A WOMAN!
sigh, I emailed my advisor this morning asking him to find me another class to take, ANY other class to take because I just don't think I'm going to do well in this one.