Things I've learned how to do thanks to UT:
1. ride a public bus.
2. sprint 40,000 yards between 2 classes in less than 10 minutes
3. descretely sniff my armpits to see if I smell so offensive from 40,000 yard sprint that I need to sit far far away from other students
4. descretely spray perfume onto said armpits so I'm not totally offensive with my scent.
5. get insanely mad at a computer program because it won't give me the information I so desperately need.