Sunday, December 4, 2005

I'm the incredible disappearing friend

How many people have I been avoiding for the last month or so? 4 or 5? Or was it 5 or 6?

1. Jennifer
2. Bonnie
3. Holly
4. Emma
5. please feel free to insert your name here

so 5. It could be worse, I could be avoiding my blog too. Oh hell, I have even been doing that.

So what's with the avoiding people? This whole "where is my life going, what am I planning on doing, where am I planning on living?" has really been getting me down. Am I staying here in Austin or moving to California? Am I going to find a better job or will I continue to quietly loath every customer I help at Barnes and Noble? "Yes, we do have the newest Oprah book club title and no I don't really care that Oprah says it's the best book she's read since last week when some other publishing company sucked her huge Hollywood owning balls to recommend one of their books" See, I'm not bitter at all.

I'm just terrified of not knowing where my life is currently headed and it feels like as long as I keep that to myself I'll be okay. But the second that I have to say out loud that I don't have a plan I think I might fall apart.

So please don't take my silence as I'm ignoring you. And no, I don't deserve to have friends that try tediously to contact me only to be seemingly snubbed with no return calls or emails. But I do love you all and hope that you can stand about another week of me being horrible and not contacting the outside world.

Not a deal you're willing to make? Okay, how about another week and I'll start emailing everyone but until then I'll make some more posts on my blog. No more big gaps of laziness and taking the fact that I have a public arena to bitch on for granted.

I promise, I'll be a much better friend soon.

1 comment:

  1. ok, take as much time as you need (for me, at least). I'm not saying I "know how you feel" at this very moment, but I can relate to your feelings...for sure.