Monday, January 30, 2006

Love is in the air, animal love that is

First Lily sent my Mom's super sized cat a Valentine's Day card. Then Mom's cat sent a Valentine's day card back to Lily.

It makes sense to Mom and I. Jason, however, thinks we are insane. I think I can tell what I won't be getting for Valentine's day.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Allergy Frenzy

Question: How many allergy drugs can one person be on at a time?

Answer: 5. Flonase, Zyrtec, Singulair, Allegra, and some kind of eye drops.

Dizziness is fun.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Update you say?!?

Well, life is boring. Boring Boring

Right now Molly is making love to the back of my head. Hot sexy cat love.

I'm working on knitting a scarf. Knitting is very relaxing and I suggest that everyone learns and then makes me a sweater or maybe a blanket. Yeah it's pretty cold right now so a blanket would be nice. Go get to work on that.

I'm back on the weight watcher wagon. Say it with me now: Portion Control, Portion Control, Portion Control. I can survive on 20 points a day.

I'm extremely happy that Zulema got booted off of Project Runway. Now if Santino can get himself kicked off I'll be very happy.

And that, folks, is the exciting life of Regan.

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Banana Republic of Beauty

As anyone that can stand to listen to me complain knows, I hate my job. I've also been telling anyone that will listen that I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to fold sweaters at Banana Republic. I can't help but believe that folding sweaters is therapeutic and much much better than shelving books. And also the discount is better at Banana then at Barnes & Noble. Yes 30% off of books is nice, but 50% off of clothes is nicer. And besides Banana is way more overpriced than B&N.

The only glitch in this plan is that the other day when I was at my local Banana they had a bunch of new people I had never seen before. (Yes, I'm there enough to recognize new employees, sad isn't it?) The problem was that all of the female new hires were blonde, skinny, and tall. So essentially not me at all.

I need a plan B. Maybe J. Crew is more open to diversity in their staffing.

Saturday, January 21, 2006


There has to be a math equation or some science theory to explain why the skinner the girl the larger her diamond engagement ring is.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Lots of Words

So here's the short version of the tale in case you were too damn lazy to read the entire 8 page article I linked to (and don't be embarrassed, I was too lazy to read the whole thing)

James Frey wrote a book called "A Million Little Pieces" which has the best book cover ever. This book was published in 2003 and found a small fan base.

Jump ahead to 2005 when Oprah (She Who Is Better Than You as she's known in some circles) picks "A Million Little Pieces" as an Oprah Book Club Title. James Frey is instantly thrown into the public eye and to the top of every bestseller list as every housewife in America goes out to buy his book.

Jump ahead a few more months and we see that the Smoking Gun has exposed James Frey as a liar and discredits him as an author. Some women decide to return the book and James Frey is in the public eye for very negative reasons as he tries to defend himself and his work.

And in my "who cares what I think" opinion I say everyone needs to shut up and accept that ALL memoirs contain some non-truths. I think it would be impossible to find a memoir that is 100% totally, completely, no bullshit, all true. IMPOSSIBLE.

Let's think about the book for a moment. It has conversations in it, conversations with Frey's fellow patients, conversations with a stewardess, doctors, Frey's parents, dentists, van drivers, etc etc etc. Do you honestly think Frey remembers these conversations exactly as they happened? No, he remembers them as he thinks they happened. he remembers them so they benefit the story. So do you think Frey really remembers other situations exactly as they happened? No, he remembers situations so they fit his story. And there is NOTHING wrong with that.

And it's not like any person that rushed out to buy this book knew anything about Frey before they opened it. I mean, it's not like he was a political figure recounting his time in office incorrectly. And come on, would 99% of the readers of this book actually have read it, or even heard of it if Oprah hadn't ordered her army to go buy it? No, of course not.

And speaking of Oprah I do think she is doing the right thing by standing by Frey during this. It would have been easy for her to disassociate herself from this fiasco but she has made it a point to say she doesn't care that it might not be 100% true. And I have to admit I do admire her for that.

And if you haven't read "A Million Little Pieces" I do encourage you to check it out. And if the bookseller looks at you funny for buying it, just salute like a Nazi and repeat loudly "Hail Oprah".

Friday, January 13, 2006

The truth about lies

I have plenty words to say about this whole James Frey (and again here and here) thing but I'm just too damn tired to say them.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

For your own safety please think of blackheads as good things.

My birthday was nice in case you were wondering.

I spent the day at a spa called Bradz, which aside from the cheesy name was very nice. I had a facial, brow waxing (got to keep my fuzzy caterpillars under control), manicure, pedicure, hair stuff done, and a makeup application.

Let me warn you ladies out there about facials. When the woman asks "Are you okay with extraction?" JUST SAY NO! I didn't want to seem stupid so I said "sure go ahead" Wrong answer, the correct answer is "Hell no you masochistic freak, please slowly move away from my face." In case you don't know what an extraction is here's something from Sephora to explain:

To use: Prior to using the Complexion Extractor with Lance, steaming the face, or using a hot water compress is strongly recommended to help soften comedones. This will make them much easier to remove.
"When you’re ready to begin the extraction process lay the looped side on top of the blackhead - basically encircling this area with the loop. Apply slow and even pressure lightly until the trapped sebum is forced out of the follicle. Do not continue to attempt the extraction if the trapped sebum is not released easily. Applying too much force can cause infection and scarring.
When piercing a whitehead, wait until the whitehead breaks open, then gently roll the tool over the whitehead. Be sure to disinfect the area when finished and clean your tool off with alcohol or hot water."

So yeah, it hurts. Just say no.

Other than that I enjoyed my day. My hair looked great and once I adjusted to my heavy eye makeup I think I was looking pretty good:

This was the finished product after I changed clothes and was ready to leave:

And the number one reason that I need a full length mirror:

Jason and I went to dinner at a very nice French restaurant called Aquarelle. It is located in a converted house in downtown Austin. Very cute and very very tasty.

I would tell you folks more, but I just realized that I haven't seen last night's Project Runway and if I don't go watch it right now the world will stop spinning and disaster and plague will strike down upon all countries.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Monday, January 9, 2006

If I'm this obsessed with my dog imagine how I'll be when I have a real kid

Lily went kite flying on Saturday. To say the least she was not amused with the activity. And yes, she is wearing an asian print dress.

Sunday, January 8, 2006

Sometimes customers aren't so bad

Today I was showing a very nice lady where the astrology books are located in the store. When we arrived at the section there was another woman standing directly in front of it, blocking every title on the shelf from view. After asking her politely to move a few times and getting no response at all my customer, I mean my new favorite customer in the whole damn world, told her "If you are just going to camp out here and block everyone from looking at the books I can go get you a tent from REI. I think it would make it clear to every one else that these are your's and no one but you can shop for an astrology book."

The other woman just stared at her blankly and wandered off. I, however, threw myself on my favorite customer, proclaimed her my one true Lord God and offered to sacrifice a kitten in her name.

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Got my gift...

...and every single one of you were wrong.

My adult gift (that Mom decided in the end to give me all of) is a set of 12 lead crystal glasses.

Mom gets on these weird kicks every few years or so. A few years ago it was jewelry, she got upset that we had no heirloom jewelry to pass down to future generations. So every Christmas for about the past 4 or 5 years I was given a piece of jewelry that is to be passed down to my kids and then on to their kids, etc etc etc.

Now the kick is lead crystal (I'm not complaining) so every Christmas for the next few I'll be getting some lead crystal thing.

I could really use a fancy iced tea pitcher next year Mom.