Lately I've been inundated with magazine subscription offers. For normal people these kind of offers are not a problem but for me, when checking the mail can be the highlight of my day, having a magazine subscription or 13, ensures that I'm guaranteed a treat at least once a month.
And to be perfectly honest, I'm just the biggest Martha Stewart slut that has ever lived. You see most of the offers I get I can pass by Glamour? No thank you! Cosmo? Not me! Cooking with Yams? well, maybe, No I mean NoNoNo! But when Martha sends me her subscription offers I can't help but sign up for not 1 year, not 2 years, but 3 years or longer. I just don't understand why she has this sick power over me.
It doesn't matter if it's Martha Stewart's Living, Martha Stewart's Everyday Food, or Martha Stewart's Euthanizing Puppies, I'm on board as soon as the offer hits my mailbox.
I know it's wrong to be a pawn to her, but really I'm quite happy living like this. I enjoy always have some fancy recipe, that I'll never be capable of making, on hand. Do I have a garden? No, but dammit I love knowing how to grow and prune roses. Do you know how to make a valentine's bouquet extra special just with some love sonnets and a silver spoon? No?!? Well guess what, I do and I'm better than you because of it! Thank you Martha for making me the best!