Tuesday, April 18, 2006

For the love of all things pure and good, DO NOT MOVE TO THE BAY AREA

Today I went apartment hunting in the Bay Area. Tonight I attempted to throw myself into traffic on 101. Luckily Jason was able to lure me down with a bottle of wine and a mini dark chocolate bar.

First problem encountered: Slightly racist, extremely self-centered, talkative yet deaf to anything not uttered in his own voice real estate agent 'helping' me locate apartments.

Second problem encountered: The delightful agent didn't listen to a word I said when I explained what we were looking for in apartments and decided to drive me around the Bay Area to a bunch of apartments that were totally not what I was looking for.

Third problem encountered: The apartments he brought me to were not only not what I was looking for as far as amenities go but they were also crappy. Crappy like "Why does this place smell like cat pee?" crappy. Crappy like "You don't say that the 1970's exploded in this kitchen and sprayed itself all over the appliances" crappy.

Fourth problem encounter: My agent has one-night stands with women that work in the leasing offices and therefore creates quite a nice environment to bring clients like me into. Apparently, most of these women didn't realize this was only a one-night stand and are upset that he never called. So yeah, lots of the leasing agents were super happy to see him.

By the end of the day I still hadn't found a place to live, but I had found a massive headache. I can't believe that you can barely find a one bedroom for $1500 with a washer and dryer and air conditioner. This place sucks.

I did finally find a place. It's the same exact apartment complex that our corporate housing is located in. And the real estate agent didn't even recommend I look here. Yeah, he was so much help. I'm happy that I found a place but at the same time I wouldn't wish apartment hunting in this area on my worst enemy. Yeah, actually I would wish it on them and I would make sure they have to go with my agent. Ohhh even better, I would make them go out on a date with my agent.

*edit* I forgot the bird poop. Yup, I actually got crapped on by a bird at the first complex. Not a good sign. I should have given up right then.


  1. Rent.com is probably more useful than that guy... at the very least, less sleazy. We'll do some independent apartment hunting. Tell Google to pay me that guy's fee, and I'll find you an apartment. :)

  2. Did you say 1 bedroom? Where am I going to sleep?

  3. You should build a treehouse or a shotgun smack dab in Silicon Valley. BTW, I still liked the original pyjammy design better. The olive drab is too dark, your fiance is color blind anyway. I think he liked it because it matches his Mini.

  4. Mom, did you miss the part of the story where a one bedroom was $1500??? Unless you are sending my an extra $800 every month to cover the rent increase to a 2 bedroom, you are sleeping in our living room.

    Oscar, another computer design guy looked at my blog and suggested the green side bars as well. I've learned that you can't make everyone happy.

  5. Icky Cali men.
    Icky Cali apartments.
    Icky Cali bird poo.

    Everyone knows the bird poo here is better. :X

  6. I have exactly the same problem.Arrived here just one week ago and could not find a decently priced rental apt of 1BR/1BATH. It seems a great variation in housing here...either you get those wooden houses at $800-1000 with no airconditioning and W/D or pay a high price $1500-2000 for the standard basic features of W/D and airconditioning !!! Can't stand it. So Expensive here!
    Curious to know how your apt is like.....it is smacked right at the city center, or near a train station....??
    Struggling to stay alive in Sunnyvale..

  7. I'm in the complex next to 101 in Sunnyvale so I don't think I'm close to a train station. I'm actually right on the edge of Sunnyvale (I think) and about two exits on 101 from 'downtown'. I did manage to get air con and washer/dryer but I am paying over $1500 a month. I know of other complexes in Sunnyvale that have similar apts but are less rent each month (but not by much). In general I think apts are ungodly overpriced and unless you want to give up the dream of cool air and clean clothes you are going to pay about $1500 each month. Unless you could stand a studio. You might get one of those with air con and w/d for under $1000.

  8. I was stung in the head by a big red wasp at one of the first houses in Jackson that Stacey and I looked at when we moved. Worse than bird poop! Needless to say we didn't buy that house.

    One of the reason apartments are so high over there is that houses are so expensive that no mere mortal can afford to buy one and carry the mortgage, so everyone has to rent.