Sunday, May 7, 2006

The one thing I did this weekend that I'm a little ashamed of

Last night I did it. I did the one thing I swore I would not be convinced to do with Jason. I did it and afterwards I felt dirty. And shameful. And wishing I could go back to the land of never have done it in the first place.

We saw Mission: Impossible III.

I have some really mixed feelings about this movie. Some are based on external forces, i.e. Tom "I'm going to rename Katie Holmes Kate because she's a woman now" Cruise. And some are based on internal forces within the movie, i.e. In some scenes Tom Cruise is standing next to a fellow actor and they appear to be the same height. Come on Mr. J.J. Abrams, everyone knows Tom Cruise is a tiny, little man, you didn't need to resort to camera tricks to make him appear not hobbit-like.

And yes, I do realize that the external and internal gripes both revolve around the same person. Deal with it.

Let's start with the good. M:I 3 did provide a lot of explosions for the ticket price. My diet coke was cold. The popcorn was tasty.

And now the bad.

I didn't find anything about the movie overly Mission: Impossible-ish. Of course I've never seen the television show, I saw the first movie once 10 years ago, and I never saw the second, so my perception of what's Mission: Impossible-ish could be way off. I kinda felt this movie could have been any other action movie; it could have starred any other action hero actor.

And while I didn't find it overly Mission: Impossible-ish I did find it incredibly, monumentally, whole-heartedly Alias-ish. It's like J.J. Abrams wrote an episode of Alias and presented it to the network but it got rejected. And J.J. took that episode put in a few more pricey stunts and viola, it was a movie.

It was so Alias-ish that there was even a Marshall Flinkman type character, played by Shaun from Shaun of the Dead. Once again I need to scold Mr. J.J. Abrams, please excuse me. Come on J.J., if you're going to have a character that IS Marshall Flinkman the least you can do is let Kevin Weisman play him. It's the right thing to do. Really, it's the only thing to do.

There were a few scenes that looked like exact replicas of Alias episodes, which makes me really wonder about J.J. Abrams directing ability. The engagement party was so similar to a party Sydney Bristow hosted that I was expecting to see some Alias characters in the background. Oh wait, an Alias character was there, and he even had a talking role. Good for him!

I'm not telling you to not go see M:I 3. I'm also not telling you to leave your dinner to burn on the stove because you have to go right now to see it. NOW I SAID! It's one of those movies that I could have seen or not seen and been a fully functioning human being either way.

I probably should not have seen it just out of spite for Tom Cruise's brainwashing of Katie Holmes, but oh well. It was a sign of pure weakness on my part that I gave into Jason's carnal male need to see cars explode and things burn. Ah well, it was probably better than sitting through R.V.


  1. If Jason was a manly man, he could have waited a few more weeks for "X-Men 3: Why Do We Have to Wear These Uniforms?"

  2. DUDE! I know you just didn't dis the X-Men. Don't make me go all Wolverine on your ass.