Wednesday, August 9, 2006

I want the cleanest toilet on the block

People keep asking what Jason and I want as a wedding gift. Thus far the best answer I can come up with is hookers and blow. I really would love some hookers and blow just to see how they come all giftwrapped with a pretty crackwhore bow tied on. But something tells me hookers and blow can't be shipped across state lines and I don't want people to get in trouble for illegal shipping me a phat hooker. Or a fat bag of blow.

There isn't much we really want. But what would be really nice is this. I kid you not, I would love a toilet bowl scrubber. Why? Obviously you haven't seen my toilet.

We've lived here since May and I haven't cleaned the toilet yet. It's not been for lack of trying, but without a scrubber it's pretty dang hard to clean a toilet. I tried to just squirt the toilet cleaner fluid into the toilet and let it sit, but that didn't clean anything. Then I remembered that I read if you dump a can of coke into the toilet the acid in the coke will eat away the filth. This tactic didn't work, and I wasted a can of diet coke. hmmm, I wonder if using diet coke rather than regular made the project fail? I haven't gotten to the point of actually reaching in and wiping the inside down with a kleenex because that would be gross, but I can tell you, we are headed that way.

So please, save me and my hand and buy me a toilet scrubber for my wedding gift. And then when you come to visit I promise to have a clean place for your butt.


  1. A toilet brush - had I only known you were so easy to please.......I'm going to rethink my gift.

  2. Orginally this post had a footnote that said you were absolutely not allowed to buy me a toilet scrubber and that in no way were you allowed to change your mind about your gift, but then I remembered that you're not mean.

    Now don't go proving me wrong.