Tuesday, September 26, 2006

10 foot restraining order against jparks

The past few times I've been to the acupuncturist, she's asked about Jason and my's choice for birth control. And every week she forgets that, no, it's not a condom, it's the IUD. And, no, I don't plan on having it removed anytime soon. And, no, I really don't want to have a baby by this time next year. And, no, I don't hear my ovaries screaming as they slowly dry up and die inside me.

At my appointment this week I was, yet again, asked about my form of birth control, and was, again, told to not wait much longer to pop out a baby. The difference was, this week I don't think the doctor much cared that I don't want to have kids and stuck four needles in my belly to "help my woman parts." But before the needles I had a pretty rough session with the massage therapist. So my new theory about the acupuncturist is this: She doesn't care much that I don't want kids yet, so she's having the massage therapist knock the IUD loose and then she's helping my "lady parts" work more effectively.

I don't know how powerful Eastern medicine is, those needles in my belly might work. So, much to my mom's and my mother in law's chagrin, I think I'm going to make jparks stay 10 feet away from me at all times for a little while, just to be safe.


  1. Oh my gosh, how rude!

    Seriously, are there no other acupuncturists in the Bay Area? I'd have to tell this one to bugger off.

  2. But I like this one, other than the whole baby business. My insurance doesn't cover the massage therapy but she gves it to me for free.