Last night I gave myself a mild concussion. It was totally not fun and I don't recommend doing it, even if you are trying to make Jackass 3. This actually hurt more than the time I stepped on a rake at Girl Scout camp and it flew up and hit me in the forehead. And I can honestly say that stupid rake hurt a lot.
I bet you're wondering how one goes about creating their own mild concussion. First you leave the cabinet above the washing machine open. Then you reach inside the washing machine to move clothes to the dryer. You do this once successfully so that next time you don't pay much attention to the open door. This next step is the key to the whole operation: go to grab more clothes, as you reach into the machine you slam your head onto the corner of the door. The impact must be so hard that you fall to the ground yelling and you don't even see stars, just blackness.
It was bad. My vision went all blurry and I had ringing in my ears. Jparks was outside for the actual hitting portion and when he came back in I had gotten up and for some reason decided to refill the cats water bowl. I guess I thought it would make me feel better. He took the bowl from me and made me go lay down. As soon as I hit the bed I wanted to go to sleep, but just couldn't. Between the throbbing head and blurry world I couldn't get comfortable. We joked that it might be a concussion, but not wanting to have to stay up all night, I didn't go look up the symptoms. Jparks brought me a bag of ice to numb the pain and I whined a bit more before falling asleep.
When I woke up this morning my head was still throbbing and was sore. The area from my forehead to about half way back hurts when it's touched. Even the water hitting it in the shower hurt.
I'm now at work and it's not getting any better. But I have looked up signs of a concussion and I meet quite a few of them, so now I know that falling asleep last night was probably not the smartest thing to do. My boss keeps saying that I seem really out of it and wants to know if I feel like I need to go home. The answer is yes, I would love to go home, but I don't feel like that might help. I'm extremely tired, but staying at work is probably better. Here I can keep moving and working and not wallow in the fact that I am the world's largest moron. Plus if I collapse while in the office at least there are people to notice, at home Tangi would probably just come over and use my body as a scratching post.
Between this post and this post I bet you're worried that jparks and I won't live to see 30. You're probably right. We probably shouldn't have kids either. Ah well, we'll just have the kids wear helmets and kneepads, I'm sure they'll be fine.