Thursday, November 9, 2006

i am such a liar

You remember when I said that was the end of the Disney pictures the other day? I totally lied to you. My bad. But I promise you want to see these.

Our first day in Disney I was amazed by some of the outfits people were wearing. Maybe I'm a prude, but I would never leave the house in some of the shorts (were they even shorts or were they just denim panties?) people were wearing. Or worse yet, go to the Magic Kingdom with my 14 year-old daughter dressed like a whore. Hmph, I sound like a grandma, oh well.

I'm vowing here and now, in front of all you readers, that when I have kids I refuse to raise skanks. I'll make fun of skanks, teach my kids to make fun of skanks, but I will not raise skanks.

After a day of these outfits I decided that the next day I would take pictures of every horrible outfit I saw. These are the pictures I took.

Chick on the left, you have cottage cheese legs. Please stop spending money getting your nails done and buy some real shorts. Thank you. (the best part about this assignment was I didn't tell anyone else what I was doing and still when my sister-in-law saw this girl she turned to me and said "You got that picture, right?" She just knew that this bit of skankyness had to be documented)
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Sweetie, isn't that metal bench cold on your ass since you've hiked that skirt up? Just take a moment and imagine the view people got when they walked up the bleacher stairs, because at one point she uncrossed her legs.
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This picture came out disappointing. She was wearing a yellow thong under this white skirt. YELLOW.

I wanted jparks to go ask if she for $5 would do a pole dance, but since her Dad was right next to her I didn't think it was the best idea. Please check out the pockets on the back of these shorts. Yeah, the shorts are so short they are only like half pockets. You know, cuz full pockets are sooo frumpy.

I'm so confused. The torn, raggety shorts with a rope belt say redneck, but the backless shirt says slut.

I have seriously saved the best for last. It's so good, you should really click here to view it at orginial size. Brace yourself.

Let me point out some things to look for: scary long fake nails, dangling jeweled navel ring, bare stomach, arm tattoo of baby daddy's name, flip flops, which just make her outfit complete.


After I took these I saw many many many other horrible outfits, but I found this assignment too tiring. If I kept taking pictures of the clothes I would not have taken pictures of anything else or been able to ride any rides.


  1. This is by FAR the most amusing thing you have ever posted. You should seriously document other things you see for us and add in witty comments, you could keep me at least entertained forever. Couldn't that girl sitting in the bleachers feel a breeze?! Jeez.

    And your sister-in-law! HAH! I guess the case of the mystery children has been solved. This is the part where you say, "Good work, Gumshoe!"

  2. Good work Gumshoe! The kids were the products of my 2 sister-in-laws that were on vacation with us, as well as jparks' Mom.

  3. Is that the pole dance girl's underwear sticking out of the top of her shorts?

  4. Oh my goodness! These look like those papparazzi shots that show up on the weeklies at the grocery store lines!!! Good job Regan!