as performed by jparks
1. Rub Bengay on her shoulders and neck
2. Go pee (use the same hand that you just used to apply Bengay)
3. Whine, while grabbing at yourself, and doing a sort of "I'm in pain" dance, that you got Bengay on your wanker and the Bengay is on its hot phase.
If she doesn't laugh when you do this, maybe you should consider divorce as she can't possibly have any sense of humor.