Sunday, July 29, 2007

seating issues

I've been obsessing a bit about furniture lately. I'm trying to find a good balance between getting rid of everything we currently have and buying all new furniture (jparks' suggestion) to adding a few new pieces to fill the all of the glorious space we are about to have. I'm leaning towards adding a few new pieces as I know we are not nearly as rich as we are in jparks' imagination.

Right now we have a chocolate brown leather couch. It is very nice, although I know someone that would tell you differently (any guesses who?). The new place really needs a love seat to round out the living room and I've fallen head over heels with one. The problem? It's above me. It's a 10 and I'm only a 4. I could marry up, but this love seat could never marry down to my level.

Camden Sofa

See what I mean, it's way out of my league.

Now this next love seat is in my league. Actually, I might be out of it's league. If I'm a 4 then it's a 3.

cheap knockoff

That first one is from Crate and Barrel and if I had the money I would order it Right. This. Minute. The second one is from Target and if I weren't scared shitless of ordering furniture from Target without seeing it first, I would order it.

So, what do you guys think? Is it safe to order a love seat from Target? Or is it a totally batshit insane idea and I should keep looking? Or would anyone like to buy the Crate and Barrel one for me? I swear to love it forever and ever.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

woohoo! we're adults!

What, you guys didn't like me sticking that we bought a house right in the middle of a post? I thought it was rather sneaky. I can't just come right out and tell you stuff, no, I've got to make sure you're all paying close attention.

Yes, jparks and I have taken the big plunge and purchased a house here in Silicone Valley. It was as pain-free as something this painful can be, mainly because we bought from friends. Friends that were very nice and understanding when we proclaimed "we'll buy your house!" without actually having our finances lined up for such a transaction.

And, just so we are all on the same page, I have to disclose this bit of information: we didn't actually purchase a house-house; we purchased a townhouse. I know for some people (read as: people like me that have only lived in reasonably priced areas) buying a townhouse instead of a stand alone house is bizarre and slightly ridiculous. But, in this area, buying a townhouse is a necessary evil for first time purchasers like jparks and I.

So, do you want details? Maybe pictures? heh, well I don't really have those things. I can give you basic details but since we bought the place before it was listed that limited the "walk through with a camera and take pictures so we can decide if we want to sign away our lives" opportunities. Actually, we told our friends we would buy the place after seeing only the bottom floor, one time, many months ago. We are not insane, it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up.

What I can tell you is that it's a hair over 1400 square feet, 2 bedrooms, and 2.5 baths in Santa Clara. We have a 2 car tandem garage and the Sanders are leaving us all the stainless steel appliances we can shake a stick at. If you want to know what something like this costs, send me an email and I'll spill the beans. If you don't really care about the exact figure, I'll just say it was pricey, but we got a really good deal.

We are supposed to move into the new place in August and I plan on filling my time until then with interior decorating magazines, books, and websites. Or, I am more than willing to let someone step up to the challenge of decorating my house. Between jparks being colorblind and my inability to commit to anything out of fear that it won't work with the rest of our stuff, the decorating of a new place is a huge stress for me. Any takers?

Jparks and I are super excited about this big step into adulthood. Now whenever the cats start fighting I break them up and tell them that shortly they can each have their own room. We have started to run Lily up and down the stairs at our apartment complex to prepare her for a new life full of stairs. For the past few night I've had wonderful dreams about being able to watch tv uninterrupted by Mr. I-Don't-Want-To-Watch-But-Can-You-Tell-Me-What-Just-Happened. Oh my, I can't wait! Jparks can be on one floor of the house and I can be on another! Our marriage might just survive after all!

Monday, July 23, 2007

things I did this past weekend

  • Went to a Harry Potter release party but did not stay until midnight. It was cute and all, but staying up until midnight is for young whipper snappers, not jparks and I.

  • Went to a wine tasting party where jparks hung out with a (almost) 2 year old. Pictures will be added to the "jparks has baby fever" set on flickr soon.

  • Discussed how even I can't believe I wrote that I have mad butt clinching skillz

  • Read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows.

  • Bought a house

  • Took Molly to the vet. Now I not only have to give her Prozac, but I have to squirt antibiotics down her throat. Fun!

  • Made a cake. Cursed at the cake. Threw it away. Made it again. Cursed at this one. Vowed to never make another cake as cupcakes are 4 bajillion times easier to make. And they are cuter.

  • I would say it was a nice, quiet weekend don't you think?

    Thursday, July 19, 2007

    is butt clinching a skill I can put on my resume?

    Man, you people are cold. You were even able to resist Lily's pleas for yur money. Well, I'm tapped out of ideas for now. If you don't want to give, apparently, I can't make you. Maybe you're all saving your allowances for the big Harry Potter release this weekend. Maybe you'll donate after that? Maybe? Please?*

    Besides having you people kill me with your ungiving nature (Is that mean? I think it's mean. I'm sorry.) not much has been going on. Are you really surprised? Jparks and I aren't really that interesting. In fact, last week his bestest friend came out here and jparks could barely find the energy to go do things with him. I think we might really be 90 years old. We should go see if we can find a swimming pool full of cocoons to swim in. That might give us the energy we need to live like normal people.

    The most exciting thing to happen lately is that Tuesday night jparks and I were in bed trying to fall asleep. The room was dark, Lily was tucked in, and I decided to give my loving husband a wet willy. Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I've been hanging out with jparks too long, I'm starting to pick up his annoying habits.

    Of course, he had to retaliate and he did this by trying to give my butt a wet willy. Keyword in that sentence is try as he was not successful thanks to my mad butt clinching skillz. Yeah, I have butt clinching skillz. I know it's not normal, but you would not believe the skillz you need when you're married to jparks.

    *I started this post at work and when I went to finish it at home I had another donation. Thanks Jennifer, you're not ungiving!

    Wednesday, July 18, 2007

    look at what you've forced me to do

    If you haven't donated you really should, otherwise Lily's feelings will be hurt. And we really don't want to upset the world's cutest chihuahua. Clicky ckicky

    Thanks to Lauren, Whitney, and Carolyn for donating!

    Monday, July 16, 2007

    it's that time of year again

    What time of year is it exactly? It's time for everyone to make a donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation by clicking here. This year's race is September 23rd and, like last year, I plan on running the race and raising some funds to support the cause.

    Last year I raised a tiny bit more then my personal goal. I am extremely grateful for all of the support I received and I hope to surpass this year's goal as well. Speaking of which, I raised my goal (just by a bit) because I know we can do it! And because I think I have more people reading this blog than last year. (it's the sexy pictures of jparks that keep bringing people in) And more people means more money! At least, that's what I hope.

    It's super easy to donate and even if you're only able to give $5, it helps. The Komen Foundation is the largest, non-government foundation providing funding for breast cancer research and by the end of 2007 they will have invested more than $1 billion towards research. Tons more info about the Foundation can be found here.

    So, as jparks likes to say, "Let's all save boobies!" Also, the sooner you all donate money and we reach the goal, the sooner I stop begging for money and we can get back to sexy jparks pictures. Come on, you know you want more of the sexy beast. Clicky clicky

    Thursday, July 12, 2007

    Let me tell you a little story

    Once upon a time there was a boy and he was in lurve with a girl. They both had their own flickr accounts but when the girl posted pictures of the boy she only selected ones where he didn't look bad. The boy, on the other hand, posted any picture of the girl that he could. He didn't care if she looked bad, if her eyes were closed, or if every picture was exactly the same. He didn't care if she begged him not to give those pictures to the public, the bastard boy still posted them.

    One night the girl came up with a plan. "I have a bunch of pictures of my love on the beach and in ponds without his shirt on. I could threaten to post them and then he would understand why I don't like it when he posts all those crappy pictures of me!"

    Thrilled that she had come up with a way to stop the posting of unflattering pictures of her, the girl floated through the rest of her day. That night she laid down the law for the boy and he scoffed at her idea. Then he told his secret lover best friend "She won't do it."

    The girl responded with a hearty "Not only am I posting them, I'm sending links to TONS OF PEOPLE!"

    This, dear friends, is where the story turns into a picture book.

    "I wonder if she really will post those pictures of me?" thinks the boy.

    "Uh oh, I think she really is posting those pictures. Maybe if I flex my guns and show her I'm a sexy beast she'll change her mind"
    uh oh

    After recovering from a laughing fit over the boy's "guns", the girl continued to upload pictures.

    "This picture is pretty identical to that other picture" the girl thought as she posted it.

    dead sexy

    "Sexy!" thought the girl.

    "hmm, this picture of the boy running and jumping in the forest is best viewed at the large size so people can see his facial expression," thought the girl but she posted it anyway.

    And finally the girl posted the last picture of the boy, a closeup of him lounging on the beach. "Hmm, he seems to have forgotten to take off his sweater," the girl thought.
    an aura of fur

    As the girl finished uploading the pictures a great feeling of satisfaction washed over her. "HA!" she thought as she waited for the boy's reaction...

    Monday, July 9, 2007

    a really long rant with no real purpose

    Jparks and I are now back from vacation and I must say a good time was had by all. Towards the end of the trip we were both ready to head home, but generally everything was wonderful and we really enjoyed Maui.

    Actually there was one thing that bothered me but it's not something that's specific to Maui, it's more of a general vacation complaint. Between dining out for every meal, all the drinks I got from the bar, and all of the shuttle rides from the airport to the rental car place, and from the rental car place back to the airport, I felt like I was being expected to tip a whole butt-load of money. And this really started to piss me off beyond belief annoy me.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm all for tipping waiters. I know from experience how much it sucks to wait on a table and then find they've left you no tip. When that happened I always silently yelled in my head "dammit! Thanks for letting me pay to wait on you" because really, that's what happens. Waiters make a lower minimum wage than other workers thanks to their tips. An honest waiter, not wanting to piss off the IRS, will claim at least 10% of their total sales for the night for tax purposes. When you don't add a tip the waiter still has to claim some amount on your bill and, yes, another table probably has tipped more than enough to cover your not tipping, but still, the guilt, it kills me.

    That being said sometimes it really burns my bottom when I'm expected to tip a person. Starbucks, I'm pointing fingers at you. It's well known that they rank high on the lists of best companies to work for, thanks to high hourly wage rates and great benefits. Most ones I've been in even have some kind of sign indicating that employees start at hourly wages well above the minimum wage. And yet, you will always find a tip jar sitting out. Call me mean, but I'm way more likely to tip at a small, independent coffee house that probably doesn't pay more than minimum wage than I am at Starbucks. I worked at a record store, making minimum wage with no benefits and I wasn't allowed to put out a tip jar. It took as much energy to not make fun of you for purchasing a Micheal Bolton cd as it takes a barista to not spit into your mocha latte and for that I deserved a tip.

    But really, Starbucks is not what pushed me over the edge while in Maui (although we did spend some time in various Starbucks). What did it were the times I was supposed to tip the guy that drives the van from the airport to the rental car place. And the bartender that wants a tip every single time I order a drink, not just one tip that's enough to cover all my drinks for the day. And the tour guy that did an excellent job but dammit, the tour cost so much to begin with I didn't have money left over for a tip. And the servers that openly talked about a table that just left that didn't tip them. Hey, the food sucks and you are really a crappy server! If I didn't have the guilt I wouldn't have tipped you either! Those, my friends, are the things that pushed me over the edge.

    In fact, I went so far over the edge that one day I tipped the loudmouth servers less than 15% of my bill just out of spite. How dare you talk about another table right out in the open. I'll show you! You only get a $4 tip today! Take that! And just so you know, I did feel pretty guilty after it was done.

    I ended up not tipping the van drivers, even though one of them even had a couple of dollars stuck into his dashboard indicating "Hey you with the money, I would like a tip. Why? Um, because I drove this van without hitting a single person, and for that I rule! Now give me a dollar." I didn't give him a dollar. I'm sorry, but successfully driving a van does not earn you a tip. You didn't even get up from your seat to help with the luggage, in fact you had a little sign saying you weren't allowed to help with luggage. Screw you, no tip!

    I feel the most guilty about not tipping the tour guide. He was really great, even giving us a free hat when jparks had to swim into a pond to retrieve a lost baggie of cocaine. But the tour was expensive. And it was one of those times when I wasn't really sure if tipping was appropriate. And I didn't think we had any cash. Just call us stupid tourists. If the guilt gets bad enough I might mail him a check as a late tip. Man, I'm a wimp.

    I know there were other times jparks and I felt pressured into tipping (the bellman that drove us in the hotel van a fourth of a mile to the other part of the hotel) but resisted. Call us stingy, call us cheap, but sometimes tipping is not necessary.

    Maybe I should start a virtual tip jar on my sidebar. Hey folks, I drove to work today without running anyone over, can I have a dollar? Maybe Lily can tip me each time I take her out to pee. Two bucks each trip should be acceptable, don't you think?

    Tuesday, July 3, 2007

    one year down

    Today is jparks and I's first wedding anniversary. So for everyone that had the "they won't make it one year" squares on the betting pool, please know you have lost. Losers! Contact your local bookies to replace your bets. You can pick any day from "a year and a day" to 50 years. Why up to 50 years? After that point in time all bets are off and I get a medal for lasting that long. I mean, come on folks, we're talking about jparks here, 50 years will be quite the feat. Even I think I'll probably strangle him around year 46. I love him, but the chewing! With his mouth open! Just thinking about it makes my blood pressure rise.

    So, how are we celebrating our anniversary? By hiking to some waterfalls and having dinner at Mama's Fish House. My anniversary gift from jparks was a fancy pants pair of Maui Jim sunglasses. They came from the same store that Paris Hilton was recently photographed shopping in so I now consider her and I best friends. She's going to let me be her exclusive photographer from here out. I'm going to be very rich as soon as I sell the first batch of pictures to Star magazine.

    My gift to jparks was a pair of teva water shoes. He's going to claim that he bought his own water shoes and they weren't a gift from me, but don't listen. He's wrong and has a hard time accepting that. And while they won't bring him friendships with famous people, like my sunglasses, they are still a pretty good gift. Or at least that's what I'm telling him so he doesn't realize he got the shaft this anniversary. Because nothing says "Happy Year Anniversary! I love you! No really I do, I just forgot to get you a real gift because I was busy before we left for vacation and my life is hectic, but I love you!" quite like water shoes.