Friday, August 31, 2007

shoe count coming soon!

Did I sufficiently depress everyone? Probably not, I probably just depressed myself. Aw well, time for the cheering up!

I bet your wondering when I'm going to admit how many pairs of shoes I own. I'm wondering that myself. This weekend is the planned official shoe count and photo op. It's number one two three on my list of things to do. Along with painting, finishing the unpacking, adding more storage unit pieces to my closet, cleaning out my closet, figuring out why I'm having trouble uploading pictures, trapeze, and dinner with friends. hmm, that's a lot of stuff. But I promise to get those dang shoes counted.

I really wanted to wait until my shoes for the stripper class came in to do the count, but I think they might be awhile still. I won't link to them because they are really awesome and I want to post pictures of them myself. All I'll say is that they are red. Red stripper shoes make me happier than they should. Of course, I thought about getting these but realized I better wait until I turn pro. You've got to save something exciting for later.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

2 years later

Today is the two year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I'm not sure how to mark this day as I'm no longer in the city and some say that I turned tail and ran from the problems that followed the storm. On the other hand, I know folks that say I did the smart thing by leaving, that I was protecting myself and my future. I don't like to spend much time thinking about which group of folks are right, because I feel like a true New Orleans resident and the thought that I jumped ship hurts my heart.

Leaving was not an easy decision. And I know that, if it were possible, I would return to the city to do my part. I also know that jparks will hear none of this and has vowed that we will never live there again. He's not evil for saying this, just concerned for us. The truth is that the city has not recovered. Two years after being ripped apart, life is not back to normal for the majority of residents and the little bit of recovery that has happened is just waiting to get ripped apart again. Repairs to the levees and to the pump stations aren't enough to protect the city from another storm and the level of repairs that need to be made are too much for the city to take on alone. And sending aid seems low on the to do list for the government.

Today I was driving along 101 when I noticed a billboard asking people to help Free Vietnam. Right now the Gap wants us to support (Product)Red: the Global Fund. And everyone in Hollywood wants us to help Darfur. But who wants us to help New Orleans? Where are the billboards asking people to save a city within our own continental boundaries? Where is the clothing line that supports rebuilding the 9th Ward? This country is concerned with saving the world but could not care any less about saving one of it's own. Is this really the message we want to send to the rest of the world, especially since we've been saying for years that our goal in Iraq is to help them rebuild? I'm thinking it's not, but what do I know, I'm not in politics.

New Orleans deserves our country's attention. It deserves our support and help. It's a city worth saving. It's worth more than we are currently putting into it. Before Katrina the city had so much to offer; so many opportunities for its residents and for itself. Now people there have little hope and few are optimistic for their futures' or for the city's. And this is not the New Orleans I remember. This is the New Orleans that we need to work hard to make disappear.

And before I get ripped apart like a city by a hurricane (what, inappropriate?) for saying these things, I want to clarify that I know volunteers are in the city helping. Those people are amazing individuals for offering up their time and energy to help rebuild the city, a city most of them have never experienced before. They are one of the few reasons I have any hope that New Orleans will rise again. Thank you volunteers, your help has more of an impact on the residents and former residents of New Orleans than you will ever know.

We need to never forgot how amazing New Orleans was, how amazing it could be again, and how amazing its residents are for never giving up. We need to never forgot because that's the most painful thing we could do to New Orleans.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

woohoo, a game!

Moving really makes you see exactly how much crap you own. Like jparks' crepe spreaders. Imported (by us) from Paris. That have never been used. Why do we own these? I don't know. But can you say you have authentic crepe spreaders from Paris? Of course not, and that's why we rule!

In jparks defense, the crepe spreaders are small and take up only a tiny part of a drawer in the kitchen. You want to know what's not tiny? What takes up way more than a tiny part of a kitchen drawer? My shoes. Dear god they are everywhere. For some reason they seemed less numerous in the apartment, maybe because they were partially in the closet, partially under the bed, and partially under the sofa. Here, all lined up (mostly) in boxes the number of pairs seems overwhelming.

So, in the spirit of whitneybee's now infamous picture, let's play a round of Guess How Many Pairs of Shoes I Own.

Here are some hints to aid you in your guesses:

  • I only managed to get two pairs of shoes from my house in New Orleans after the hurricane

  • This means I've only been on my shoe shopping spree for the past two years

  • I went on a shoe diet where I didn't buy shoes for 90 days

  • jparks counts flip flops as shoes

  • For awhile I averaged a pair of shoes a week

  • I have a couple of pairs that I love so much I bought them in brown and black

  • I really like shoes. Like a lot.

  • Guess away!

    Monday, August 20, 2007

    welcome to the neighborhood

    I met one of my neighbors yesterday while I wearing a shirt with two unicorns humping on it. What a great way to make a first impression. I hope she didn't run off and tell the rest of the neighborhood that delinquents have moved in. I would hate to have to toilet paper everyone's porches to prove them right.

    In other news, I have my stripper class today and I can't even begin to find words for how sexy it will be. This morning I couldn't find my razor so I didn't shave my legs. yay for built in leg warmers! And the studio suggests you wear "sexy work out clothes" and not bring shoes as they will provide you with stilettos. Seeing as how I don't even know what "sexy work out clothes" are, much less own any, I'm wearing gray capri workout pants and the previously mentioned humping unicorns shirt. I thought it would be appropriate. And maybe humping unicorns equals sexy? This will look amazing once I slip into a pair of four inch lucite heels. Fingers crossed that they have blinky lights in the heels!

    Also, it's time to hit you kind folks up for more money. The race is quickly approaching and we haven't reached our goal yet. clicky clicky to save boobies.

    Thursday, August 16, 2007

    moving moving moving, get them Parks moving

    Do you know what stupid thing I did last night? I had a friend come and pack up my tv, tivo, modem, iMac, and any other items that could provide entertainment or background noise. Good lord what a boring night it was. I guess I could have put on my iPod but then I would have been walking around with headphones on and that's like inviting a serial killer to sneak up behind you, kill you, and wear your skin like a pretty pretty dress. And that just sounds so unappealing, although I would make a bitching dress.

    Tonight is painting night at the new place, followed by cleaning lady/cable day, and then the biggie: Moving Day. All of which jparks is out of town for. Lucky bastard. No, I keed, I totally gave him permission to go out of town. Actually, I might have forced him to go. Trust me, it's easier if he's in another state for the move.

    On a totally different, but slightly related, subject I signed up for an intro to being a stripper class. It's really an intro to sensual dance class, but poles and stilettos are involved so I think that qualifies it as a stripper class. This way, when jparks and I can't afford the mortgage, I can go work at a club and make the big bucks. My mom must be so proud right now.

    (You know I'm not really going to strip, right? But I am really taking the class. You've got to try new things. And I figure pole dancing kinda blends well with aerial acrobatics)

    Sunday, August 12, 2007

    feel free to call him Nugget now

    Jparks and I were standing in the checkout at Target and I felt like being annoying. (what? He's annoying all the time, I get to be annoying every once in awhile)

    "Can I have some beef steak nuggets? pleasssssse?"


    "Whyyyyy? I really want beef steak nuggets. You never let me get anything good. All the other kids get to have beef steak nuggets."

    "I've got a beef steak nu, uh, crap."

    "hahaha, you've only got a nugget! A teeny tiny nugget!"


    Thursday, August 9, 2007

    no sleep till Brooklyn

    Hey, it's Thursday and I haven't had a good night sleep in uh, crap, I don't know since when. Maybe last Saturday? I'm tried, cranky, and my eyes are so swollen that they hurt. Did I mention that I'm cranky? Jparks can tell you all about it as he's been catching the full force of said crankiness.

    Normally, when I have trouble sleeping it's the falling asleep part that's the hurdle. But I'm currently falling asleep with no problem. Head meets pillow and I'm out. But this lasts maybe an hour and then I'm awake. I can make myself fall back asleep, but then an hour or two later, I'm awake again. Fun! This continues all night which means that I'm pretty squirmy, and that makes Lily squirmy, and that wakes jparks up. We are quite the happy bunch right now.

    If I couldn't fall asleep I would just take a couple of Tylenol PM's and be done with it. But for not staying asleep, I'm at a loss. I can't really pinpoint any thing that's waking me up. Last night the fan was making a noise that was bothering me. But if it had been loud it would have woken jparks (he's a crazy light sleeper) and he slept through it. So maybe, in my desperation to blame the lack of sleep on something, I was imagining it louder than it really was. The couple of nights before that I seem to remember having nightmares that woke me up, but I don't really feel like I can blame them. After waking up because of them once, I don't remember the nightmares continuing, therefore not to blame.

    I told jparks that I was going to check into a hotel for a night, far away from a dog that freaks out at night and a husband that sleeps at weird angles. Right now a big king size hotel bed sounds delightful. oh god, the sleep. I want the sleep. Please give me the sleep.

    Tuesday, August 7, 2007


    It's August and that means summer is ending here in the Bay Area, but I know in other parts of the country it's still hot and humid. And hot and humid weather usually forces people to find relief in any form possible: air conditioned houses, swimming pools, popsicles, etc. With this in mind, I want to offer a Public Service Announcement to everyone in warmer environments.


    will freeze itself to your tongue and when you go to remove it, well, ouch. The removal of this tasty treat of pain can cause a loss of tongue skin and can result in pain for a couple of days afterwards.

    Not that I know anything about this. I mean I'm way to smart to get my tongue stuck to a popsicle. Nope, it would never happen to me.

    Friday, August 3, 2007


    Folks, we are currently only 42% of the way to our goal to raise $500 for the saving of the boobies. 42%! We can do better!

    If you don't want your name and the amount you donated scrolling on this site, that's totally fine. You can either tell it to add your name, tell it a fake name, or tell it you want to be anonmous. If you were afraid of looking like you have a heart and that would tarnish your bad ass image, just don't tell it your name. Tell it your name is Shithead. That would be awesome.

    Come on people, clicky clicky

    Wednesday, August 1, 2007

    girl, interrupter

    Have you ever been having a conversation with me and I just steamrolled you, mid sentence, no apologies, you need to listen to ME now? Dear god, I cringe. And I apologize. Crap, I'm an ass.

    See, I never realized I did that until yesterday. No really, I had no clue. The way I found out was my boss had to tell me to shut up and let him finish. Okay, so he didn't say shut up, but he did have to tell me to let him finish. At first I was a bit shocked, "How dare he tell me to let him finish!" But then I realized "Holy crap I need to let him finish!" I sat there for the rest of the time he was speaking, nodding occasionally, waiting patiently for my turn. It was probably the first time I ever waited for my turn to speak.

    I can honestly say I have no idea how long I've interrupted people like this. I think it happens when I'm trying to make a point that I understand what we are talking about. Or if I think I have more information on the subject and you need to know it rightthissecondnoitcannotwait. Or if I just want you to shut up.

    I'm going to try to control this urge from now on, but I'm not sure how successful I'll be. Yesterday afternoon, the same afternoon that he had to tell me to let him finish, I ran all over my boss again. But, at least this time I recognized I was doing it. And I kinda cut myself short. And then I tried to sit there nodding until he was done. Nod nod nod It just seems so pointless. And condescending. Nodding adds nothing! But I will do it. I must do it!

    I'll probably only succeed at this if I buy myself a muzzle. Or a ball gag. That would totally keep me quiet.