Friday, November 16, 2007

enquiring minds want to know

Here in my office building each floor has its own set of bathrooms, one women's room with several stalls, and a men's room with a couple of stalls and a urinal (I assume because I'm not quite ballsy ((Heh, ballsy get it?)) to go in there to check). The other women that work on my floor use the bathroom on our floor. None of us walk up or down the stairs unless we are out of toilet paper, or someone has pooped ALL OVER THE TOILETS, which was the case last week. (Seriously, on the toilets not in them. It was really quite the amazing feat)

But the boys are a different story, it's not uncommon to see them walk to another floor to use the bathroom. At first I thought they were just doing this when they have to drop the kids off at the pool but, unless they all have kids that like to go to the pool multiple times daily, I think they do this whenever they go to the bathroom.

I'm so baffled by this behavior. Is there some kind of universally understood man law that all men must use the bathroom furtherest from them? Are they worried that some one in their office will go the bathroom at the same time and see their man parts? Can't they just use a stall if that's the case?

So come on boys, fess up. Why are all of the men in my building doing this? Do you all do this? Do you enjoy hiking to the bathroom? Does it give you extra time to load the cannons so once you get there you can fire at will?


  1. Dude law. Assume there are three urinals. If the middle one is in use, the other two are verboten. No contiguous pissing dudes. Ever. DUDE LAW.

  2. but can't you use a stall? Or do you guys not like to be confined to a small area when you are draining the lizard?

    I'm so enjoying using all my bathroom euphemisms

  3. Proper detanking of the dragon requires a urinal. There are fluid dynamic issues involved in any significant liquid fall into another pool of liquid.

    This is why my dream house has a urinal in every bathroom.

  4. Drunken dude law: if the middle urinal is in use, turn towards the center and tell the dude "Hey, nice watch". Note, make sure you know how to fight or at least be prepared for some unfriendly fire.