Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I'm sick

I have food poisoning. This means that when jparks comes home from work I'm going to have him take me out back and put me down, because I do not want to continue on for another second feeling like this. I'm a pretty seasoned puker, but this is unlike anything I have experienced before. My stomach feels like it's tied in knots and even water won't stay put. I think my body has rid itself of anything that was lingering in my intestinal tract from the past ten years. Crap came out that I don't remember ever eating. Delightful, isn't?

Since I haven't moved from my bed all day, except to go to the bathroom, I've been entertaining myself with a Top Chef marathon and google searching "food poisoning". Perhaps looking that up was not the best idea since I've now learned that a common type of food poisoning comes from contamination with feces. Poop! I might have eaten poop! Oh my god, kill me now. In all fairness it could have been caused by some bad meat but my coworker, who had lunch with me yesterday and is also sick today, had beef while I had pork. I'm thinking all signs point to poop!

And to make you all feel extra sorry for me here's a picture:
i'm sick

All together now, "awwww"


  1. I'm very sorry you're sick. However, the protocol with food poisoning is to let the reader know where you received your poop-tainted food so we can NEVER EVER EAT THERE.

    Please, do tell!

  2. It was a pho place on the corner of El Camino Real and San Antonio in Los Altos. I'm not certain of the name. Maybe Phoop? Get it? I'm so clever!

    oh, google maps to the rescue, it was Pho Vi Hoa

  3. That sucks. Completely.

    A little-known story about me and my lovely wife: shortly after graduating college and moving to Boston to start our Exciting New Lives™, we both came down with something that sounds pretty similar to what you're experiencing.

    Actually, at first it was just Erin. She was so sick that I took her to the emergency room, where they diagnosed (1) Super Ultra Mega Food Poisoning and (2) extreme dehydration (you know, from all the, er…bidirectional elimination).

    While this diagnosis was going on I was sitting in the waiting room. Without warning, it hit me—I barely made it to the restroom before puking my guts out.

    Before long we were in hospital beds next to one another, with matching bags of electrolytes hung up on those little stand things. Eventually they let us go home—the longest 15-minute car ride of our lives at that point—and we spent the next two days unable to move from the couch. We had to call the only friends we had in town to ask them if they would be able to go buy us saltines and toilet paper, the two things we needed most in the whole world.

    So, yeah. I feel your pain. If Jason doesn't do the decent thing by putting you out of your misery, he should at least be getting crackers for you.

  4. Awwwwww.

    Yeah, um, getting food poisoning or the stomach flu are my greatest fears. I have a legitimate phobia of throwing up. I think it's the most disgusting thing in the entire world, and have, in fact, thrown up twice in the past 20 years. So I'm very, very sorry that you're sick. Because if I were that sick, I would be crying, in a ball, in the corner.

  5. Aw! So sad. I'm sorry.

    I hope you feel better and are able to keep down (yummy!) food soon.

  6. Ginger beer. Peppermint and fennel tea. But really ... ginger beer. Or even make a ginger tea out of sliced ginger steeped in hot water. It will help your tummy get better. Especially once the poop is out of your system. Both ways.

  7. I've gotten food poisoning twice from ground beef. The first time wasn't so bad, I threw up a couple of times, but the second time was lasted all night long and the next day and I was so dehydrated with chills and shaking. I was miserable. I would fall into bed making it about half way on, without enough energy to even pull the covers over me and everyone was sleeping and I didn't have enough energy to let them know anything was wrong so I could get some help! So, I got two days of lots of sleep and lots of gatoraid. Anyway, that was like 2 years ago and I still won't eat ground beef unless is is completely disguised in a meal. Moral of the story...I feel for you...get better soon!!!

  8. Since you both ate at the same place, but had different things, there's a pretty good chance that it's norovirus that you're suffering from, and not food poisoning. It's transmitted by - yup, you guessed it - poop, among other things. We had an epidemic of it at work earlier this year, and let me tell you - the food poisoning I had some years back was a walk in the park compared to this beast.

    The good news? It goes away within 72 hours or so. Here's hoping your recovery is faster than that!

  9. Thanks for the info. I hope you feel better soon. You know, if you were Posh Spice and you didn't ever eat this wouldn't happen to you. But pho is (normally) so yummy! I will not be obtaining mine there. Ew.

  10. I once barfed so hard I passed out and fell down. True story!

  11. Oh, I'm so sorry you're sick. I've had food poisoning too many times to count so I feel your pain. You should seriously consider going to the doctor since you're probably dehydrated, and you might need an antibiotic.

  12. Feel better soon! I wonder whose/what's poop it was... :P
    No, but seriously. I hope you can at least keep your water/food down soon. :(

  13. oh no! the food poisoning. i hope you feel better soonly.

  14. Awww, I hope you're better now.