Friday, February 29, 2008

things one could do if they didn't have to work

  • Start every day with a different alcohol in their coffee. Monday: Bailey's Tuesday: Kahlua Wednesday: Frangelico Thursday: Whiskey Friday: Grand Marnier

  • Watch episodes of Night Court, Wings, and Cheers on TvLand.

  • Then flip over to Lifetime for the Golden Girls.

  • Do every work out dvd Netflix has to offer.

  • Organize their shoes.

  • Learn to make the best cupcakes you've ever tasted

  • Have time to write interesting blog content.

  • Any other suggestions?

    Monday, February 25, 2008

    zombie 5 years olds would be a different story

    I'm not normally one for internet quizzes, but my this one will be handy should my Girl Scout troop ever decide to rebel against me. Now I know that as long as I keep enrollment under 18 I will always have the upper hand. Suck it kidlets, you can't win!


    Thursday, February 21, 2008

    tied up

    Folks, I would like to share with you a picture of what I accomplished yesterday morning:


    Doesn't look like much does it? Just me in my guest bathroom. I'm not even looking at the camera. But look again. Look at the bow on my shirt. Look at how perfect it is. You know why it looks so good? Because I. AM. AWESOME.

    I spent at least 25 minutes tying it, untying it, and then retying it until it was perfect because I am obsessive like that. Then I got in my car to head to the office and flatten it beyond repair. So yeah, I accomplished nothing. A large chunk of my morning wasted on nothing. Stupid bow. Stupid me.

    Sunday, February 17, 2008

    while we are on a suggestion tangent

    Thank you so much for the email and comment suggestions about photoshop. Perhaps soon I shall grow some balls and give them a shot.

    And since I see that everyone is feeling helpful and willing to offer up such great advice I have another question for you. I need recipes. (okay, so that's not a question. my bad.)

    I want to cook more at home, but the recipes that I have on file are all very time intensive and require fancy, hard to keep on hand ingredients. I don't mind using gourmet recipes on weekends, but on a daily basis I would love to have a stockpile of simple, tasty recipes.

    So, (here comes the question!) do you have any recipes that I can have? I don't care if it's for a side dish, a main dish, something that has to be baked, crock potted, stir fried, or microwaved, I really want the recipe. Cookbook suggestions are also welcome.

    Did I mention how pretty and/or handsome you all are? I mean really, you must have started doing yoga or something because you are smoking hot.

    Thursday, February 14, 2008


    Now that we are back from Disney it's time to download and sort through the 800+ pictures I took. The good news is that I won't bore you by posting all of those pictures. The bad news is that not one of those pictures is of a tacky outfit. I know, it's a sad day when a girl can't go to Disney World and be assaulted by skanky outfits. I did see a few outfits that were picture worthy but they were all at Downtown Disney and it would have been way obvious that I was documenting the outfit. And then jparks would have had to fight the slut's boyfriend and I really like jparks' face the way it is. So, no pictures for you.

    So I'm sitting here facing 800+ non-slut pictures from the trip and am feeling highly overwhelmed. The problem is that I had vowed that these would be the first pictures that I give the photoshop treatment to. That decision was made because I've had photoshop for awhile now, and have been so scared of it, that I haven't even opened the application. Yeah, I suck. But photoshop is so big and scary. It's got so many buttons to click. And I'm a pansy.

    To help me get over this irrational fear I bought a photoshop how to book that a friend recommended. And that book was nice, but not quite the kick in the ass that I needed.

    What is the kick in the ass that I'm looking for? I don't think it's a class because those are too expensive. I don't think it's another book, because the one I have doesn't suck. I think what I need might be more of a tutor, either human or website based. Someone or something that can take a picture and show me what they would do to it. I'm fairly certain that having a hand to guide me through the scary "where the hell do I start?" phase would help a lot.

    In my ideal world wide web there would be a site that allows you to submit a picture and then uses it to create a step by step tutorial working towards a final product. Does this site currently exist and I just haven't found it yet? Please, TELL ME! Do you want to take the time to show me a step by step tutorial? Again, TELL ME! I would be your best friend and probably would make you cookies. Is there a good photoshop tutorial site that you love and you just know I would love as well? FREAKING TELL ME! I mean, please FREAKING TELL ME!

    Wednesday, February 13, 2008


    Have you ever dreamed of punching jparks in the face? (Don't lie, you know you have, it's a common desire.)

    Well, it looks like your dream might come true: clicky clicky

    Monday, February 11, 2008

    I assure you I'm not

    jparks: "Did you only bring jeans with you? I thought you were packing capris."

    me: "Yeah, I meant to and then I forgot."

    hours later

    me: "Do you have the iPod wires in your suitcase?"

    jparks: "no"

    me: "dang I forgot those too."

    hours later

    me: "you know, I think I forgot my face stuff at home."

    jparks: "You sure forgot a lot of stuff this trip."

    me: "I know! Well, your memory is supposed to get bad when you get pregnant."

    jparks: "You're not pregnant, just forgetful."

    me: "Sure, that's it, forgetful."

    hours later

    jparks (obviously nervous and twitchy): "Are you really pregnant? I mean, it's great if you are, but are you?!?"

    me: "I'm not but I love watching you squirm!"

    Yeah, it might be mean but it really is fun to watch jparks, the man that doesn't get nervous about much, get nervous about me possibly being pregnant. And I love that he mulled it over in his head for hours before asking.

    Saturday, February 2, 2008


    Tomorrow morning jparks and I will be boarding a plane for a vacation at the Happiest Place on Earth. I'm pretty excited:

    preparing for my vacation

    The last time we were there I started this towards the end of the trip. This time I'm going in with my camera at the ready so I don't miss any of the trashy outfits. The weather channel says it will be cool while we are there, but I have faith that the sluts won't let me down!