Saturday, April 5, 2008

ignorance is bliss

I have been embracing the idea of running the marathon whole heartedly; finding books to read, researching running groups, and making training plans. But I with all of these informational sources comes new knowledge. New, scary as all hell, stops me dead in my slow-paced-barely-able-to-breath tracks. I knew about many of the risks involved with running; shin splints, joint problems, and dehydration did not deter me from wanting to train. But then I read about "runner's nipple" and I've got to admit, I'm scared. Will someone hold me?

Here, let me share: "As the clothing next to the skin absorbs sweat, the clothing becomes more gritty and increases the friction against the nipples. It can become so severe in some runners that the nipples actually begin to bleed."

Dude, running long distances can cause your nipples to BLEED. Blood will be coming from your nipples. Just thinking about this makes me want to die, but not from blood lose through my nipples. It makes me want to die in a dignified way, like chocking to death during a hot dog eating contest.

The book goes on to suggest either covering your nipples with band-aids or lubricating them with Vaseline to prevent nipple blow outs. (okay, it doesn't actually call it nipple blow outs, but typing nipple blow outs makes me giggle) I'm trying to picture me applying Vaseline to my nipples before starting the marathon. I think ideally you would want to apply right before you start running so it doesn't absorb into the sports bra before you even get to the start line. I'm also trying to picture reapplying it at some point during the race. Run, run, run, dab, dab, dab.

Do you think they have lube stations situated throughout the course? Like a water station put instead of grabbing a cup of water, you grab a little pot of Vaseline? If they don't have lub stations, should I have various friends spread around the course holding pots of Vaseline for me? Would you come out to man a lubrication station? We could make tee shirts that say "Lub'ing up to save Regan's nipples!" Or how about: "Team No Nipple Bleeding" Maybe: "Ask me how I can save your nipples" And finally: "Working to prevent nipple blow outs one boob at a time"

Any volunteers?


  1. laughed so hard I woke the baby

  2. if you get a nursing bra you could lube up more quickly

  3. Just go buy a good sport's bras and quit your crying!!!! Ha, look at it this way, you can justify buying a cute new pair of running shoes and cute running clothes, and then when the training is over and you're in amazing shape, you can buy new cute smaller clothes!!! This will be a good thing.

  4. OMG... also laughed so hard. Trixie thinks that Mama's gone a little crazy!
    In any case I will totally man a lube station, I even have baby scented vasiline!

  5. So, as a woman who trained for and ran a marathon, I can say that this isn't a problem for women (at least none I've met) who have properly fitted sports bras in a coolmax type fabric (not cotton). I think this is more of a problem for men who wear cotton and decide to run a marathon after betting their beer-drinking buddies that they could make it to the finish line and didn't actually train properly (or figure out they needed coolmax tees and not cotton tees for running). I think you'll figure out pretty quickly when you start your longer runs whether or not this is a concern for you. I'd recommend making sure you have some properly fitted cute sports bras. Try Title 9 (pretty sure they have a store in downtown Palo Alto).

    As for shin splints: those suck, big time!

  6. Sign me up for a lube station!

  7. I believe Linda is correct about it being a male problem. If you have a good sports bra your nipples shouldn't be rubbing against anything.

    Now you just have to worry about totally messing up your feet, ankles, shins, knees and hips.

  8. Yeah, it's not just a male problem. Not that I know from experience (26.2 miles? Eff that noise). But I know a girl....who ran a marathon....and it wasn't nice to the girls....