Wednesday, July 30, 2008

13.1 this weekend

I have a half marathon on Sunday and if you saw me today you would probably want to place a large bet on the fact that there is no way I am crossing the finish line. You see, my gluteus maximus is a wee bit sore. As well as the fronts of my thighs. And I might be moving kinda slowly, perhaps even at a 90 year old man's pace. In fact, it might not be a lie if I said that when I go to the bathroom I have to let myself drop down onto the toilet as my ability to slowly and gently lower my ass is gone. And once I'm down at toilet level I might be having issues getting back up. My kingdom for a raised toilet seat!

Yesterday I met my trainer and, while she swore that she wouldn't work me so much that I would be sore, I am sore. Like went to my car before lunch and dug out a pair of flip flops (to wear at the office! The shame!) because I just couldn't walk in heels for another step. Actually I could take another step, but it would have been a zombie shuffle type step and that's not very professional. But then, neither are flip flops as office attire. Either way I fail at getting a pay raise. crap.

Other than the soreness, I feel prepared for this race. My knee is recovering nicely and my foot hasn't hurt in a week or so. I haven't been able to run as many short runs during the week as I would like because of the banged up knee, but I think I'll be okay. I might not finish the half in my ideal time, but I'm happy as long as I finish it. And being able to lower myself gently onto the port-a-potties along the race course would be an added bonus since I will die if I fall in. Literally die. Would you come to my funeral?


  1. I would so come to your funeral, but I can't promise I won't laugh a little because, well, porta potty death? That's pretty unique.

    I am super impressed at your training. Even though I considered myself an athlete growing up, I was never and never will be a distance runner. Always a short sprinter, so I'm in awe of people who can run for miles!

  2. this one time while I was playing rugby at a tournament there was a guy in the porta potty and some of the other ruggers tipped it over while he was in it... he didn't die, and he was very angry.

    I'll go to your funeral, can you bequeth me your shoes?

  3. I would come as long as they hosed you off. Good luck!

  4. oh good. we can have a double funeral. My left foot hurts. And I've already had an Aleve, 3 Advil, and two cups of coffee.

    that's not bad for me, or anything, right?


  5. I would come, but I hope you won't mind the uncontrollable giggling.

  6. can't you wear Depends like that woman astronaut?

  7. I would totally come, and I swear I'd only make like two, okay maybe three, port-a-potty related jokes.