Monday, August 11, 2008

cringe, cat style

I have recently discovered that Molly, my emo cat, has been writing poetry. I asked her if she would like to share any with you guys and she picked this one.

"I am no lolcat" by Molly Parks

I am no
happy, carefree, captioned
I am aware of
the pain of living
and I know
I will never nom a cheeseburger

I have no invisible bike
no invisible sandwich
You've never offered them
to me
How do you know that
I wouldn't love to have them?
Why do you hate me?

I has no flavor
No catnip taste left
on my pink tongue
No kitty treats
lingering in my teeth
Now I has a flavor
it's salty from my tears

This monorail cat
is leaving the station
I'm heading to a place
with fewer stupid animals
This monorail cat
isn't accepting riders
Alone suits me just fine

I am no
don't mock me
by laughing at my pain
it's impossible to be
you'll never understand


  1. I think your cat has been hanging out with mine. They're soooooo needy.

  2. are you secretly trying to tell us your true feeling Regan?? Do you need psychiatric help? And that was definitely entertaining, we need more of Molly's poetry. Maybe she could become a slam poet and you can post videos of her performances...

  3. she is soooo emu. poor you to have to listen to her poetry all the time. just kidding - brilliant on your part.

  4. My cat is a bit melodramatic as well. I often find her flinging herself wildly on the floor and I swear to you she often SIGHS at me. I wouldn't be surprised to find her writing in her journal about how embarrassing I am.

  5. Poor Molly. I want to buy her some black eyeliner and a spiked collar. Somehow I still don't think it will make up for the lack of an invisible bike.

  6. Did I tell you I found an LOL cat painted on the side of a building in San Francisco?

    I think Molly and my cat Angel were separated at birth.

  7. HAAAA! Brilliant. I want to send her a CD of The Cure's greatest hits and some black eyeliner.

  8. Dude, everyone's cats are way more talented than mine. WTF? Mine puke and sleep and lick my feet. THAT IS IT! BOO!