Tuesday, August 12, 2008

my Olympic aspiration

Like every other person in the world, I currently have Olympic fever. I've been tivo'ing all kinds of random sports (weightlifting! Who knew it was enjoyable to watch!) and just can't get enough. I'm totally hating Susan right now and have been playing a fun Where's Waldo type game called "Can You Find Susan In The Crowds?" Thus far I'm losing, but I know she's there somewhere, I just need to keep looking.

Watching all of these incredible athletes has really inspired me to want to go to the Olympics someday. And, while going as a spectator would be awesome, going as an athlete would be even better and I think it's totally doable. I say that with total respect to the real athletes because I'm going to go as a heart warming story that the sportscasters will laugh about and say "Can you believe she's here! That's a true Olympic dream coming true!"

Here's what I think needs to happen for me to go to the Olympics:

  • Move to a tiny country that never sends athletes

  • Pick an individual sport to participate in. I'm thinking maybe rowing or diving. No, scratch diving, a belly flop from that height would suck. Maybe archery

  • Have tiny new homeland send me to the Olympics. Offer to pay for part of it as that only seems fair

  • Have Project Runway design my Opening Ceremony Outfit.

  • Change my mind about the outfits when this comes down the runway

  • Make myself a fan favorite by cheering back at the crowds and kissing the ass of every reporter I talk to

  • Go to my event. Fail miserably. But smile a lot and cheer for myself, because YAY, I AM AT THE OLYMPICS

  • I could be talked into a team event if I can find others that want to go to the Olympics with me but don't want to win. Maybe we could form a rowing team. Or a synchronized swimming team (BEST IDEA YET). We could have the best bathing suits and do synchronized swimmers perform to music, because we could perform to something fun and awesome. I'm open to suggestions.

    Who wants in on my brilliant plan?


    1. look, i'm already an experienced synchronized swimmer (kristina and i perfected our routine to "oops i did it again", complete with underwater titanic scene) so we could do that. or, we really should be getting them to bring back rhythmic gymnastics so i can use the ribbon wand i've been practicing with.

    2. I'm so in for the synchronized swimming. But only if we get to wear the wrestling outfits they made on Project Runway last year.

    3. Okay you just brought back memories from camp and syncro swimming in the pool and then I flashed back to this picture I have of you in your trash bag wedding dress...I'll have to dig that one up when I get back to Tulsa. I always wanted to go to the Olympics, I probably thought I was better than the athletes on tv when I was younger...

    4. Um, no offense, but... you're not quite tall enough to row. But you could be the coxswain! (Heh heh, I said cox... heh heh heh) So if you can convince a few more 6 foot tall women to row with you and I, we could do totally do this. Besides, I could use the motivation to lose a lot of weight!

      Did I mention I took sculling lessons one summer? We can totally do this. No, really.

    5. i'm pretty sure you could compete for Canada. we can win anything anyway, so we probably will take just about anyone! hahah.

    6. I'd like to go also, but, can we please make sure that our anthem is easy to remember and that I sound good singing it?

    7. Hmm I was gonna say rowing and that I'd help you out, but damn I'm shorter than you!
      I don't think that I'd be good at sychronized swimming, and I look funny in a bathing suit, but can I be your coach?
      OR lets plan to go to the Vancouver one together! Who better to go to the Olympics held in BC Canada than someone who grew up in BC Canada???

    8. What about the Steeplechase?

    9. You could come to Malawi and we could form a beach volleyball team or something. They're hurtin' for Olympic athletes. But only if I get to wear a swimsuit with a little ruffly skirt or something to cover my thighs.

    10. The Kid and I have been working out our 10m Air Rifle shooting fingers every night while we drool over the swimmers. I mean, we are f'ing dedicated here. HOURS of this we've been doing. For nearly a week now!

      Also, I'm scared of guns which provides excellent "overcoming adversity in pursuit of love of sport" teary feature story for future NBC coverage.

    11. Just fyi, not everyone is watching the Olympics. Not that I don't love the Olympics (Bob Costas is the MAN -- and I did watch the mens and womens road bike races) but it's safe to say that most Cubs fans are not super into the Olympics this year. That's because the summer Olympics happen every four years; the last time the Cubs had a record this good this late in the season was 39 years ago.

      '04, the year after that episode which I will refrain from naming, I was all about the olympics.

    12. I'm hoping Beer Pong or marathon alcohol drinking becomes a sport because then I'm SO there!