Sunday, November 30, 2008

oh tannenbaum

Last night jparks and I went to purchase our first Christmas tree. Upon purchasing it, the kid working in the tree center tossed it through the wrapping tube thing for us and then threw it on top of our car. As I stood there, expecting him to tie it down for us, he started to walk away. Suddenly he stopped, turned back, and asked "Do you guys have any twine?" Uh no, that's what you're for. You provide the twine and tying service, I provide the cash tip. This is the system I have known and loved for many years, don't go rocking the boat now, sonny.

"No, we didn't bring any."

"Okay, we've got some."

The kid comes back and hands the twine to jparks as I quickly stash his tip back into my purse. Now here's the part where I make the fatal error, I allow jparks to start tying the tree to the car with no input from me. And while under normal circumstances jparks requires little to no adult supervision, this is definitely a time when I should have been paying more attention. The problem was that my Grinch of a husband had never purchased a Christmas tree before and therefore had never see a tree tying professional in action. When I finally put the camera down for a second, and saw the final product, I nearly died laughing in the parking lot of Lowe's. I am in no way exaggerating.

Here's a picture of jparks while he was tying the tree to the car. Look closely and tell me what you notice:

DSCN1570

Did you notice that he tied the tree through the doors and now opening them will be impossible? The best part was when I asked him if that was what he had done, he was all "NO! OH MY GOD, Do you think I'm stupid? I would NEVER do that!" And then he tried to open the door for me and I died right there in the parking lot.

After much grumbling from him and laughter from me, he managed to pry the door open about 4 inches so I could squeeze through. I really wanted to get in Duke of Hazard style through the window but jparks was opposed to that. Probably because he didn't want to draw anymore attention to his masterpiece.

The best part was when we finally got back to our house, I opened my car door and then jparks opened his, causing mine to slam shut rather loudly. Luckily no limbs were injured, so I sat there laughing for a good three or four minutes. In fact, I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even get out of the car and had to wait for jparks to untie the tree so I could open the door all the way.

Thankfully we managed to get the tree into the house incident free and it only took us two days and three Target visits to get all the lights I needed for it. We have a few ornaments hung, and still could use more. But the house smells like Christmas time, so I don't mind.

14 comments:

  1. agh...I am crying from laughing so hard! That is AWESOME!

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  2. That is totally something that Clark Griswald would do...funny shit!

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  3. Wow. That even tops our attempt to put your bike on the bike rack. You have confirmed for me that the true spirit of Christmas is hysteria.

    Still, I envy your tree smell. What kind of tree is it?

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  4. That like something right out of the script of a sitcom. Seriously funny.

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  5. ahem, that's supposed to say "real tree"

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  6. So funny! I cannot convince my husband to buy a real try. I have to settle for Yankee Candle's Christmas Wreath. Which isn't that bad, but definitly not the real thing.

    Can't wait to hear more of the Christmas follies...

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  7. I did that the first time I bought a tree. And also, I've never had anyone tie it for me. Which is why I don't buy a tree anymore. I get a pine-scented candle and call it a day.

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  8. I am so glad to hear you purchased a REAL TREE. All the talk of faux trees breaks my heart.

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  9. OMG! I almost peed my pants! I love it!

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  10. What, you weren't in the mood to crawl through the front window??? ;-)

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  11. This made my entire holiday season.

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  12. Ah, this will probably make you laugh every time you look at your tree. Fantastic!

    We have to do faux, unfortunately. We're always out of town, and the cats cannot be trusted :)

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  13. this was so funny... I was seriously laughing so hard it made me cry.. =)

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  14. HEEEEEE HAWWWWW

    I'm not saying I might not pull the same stunt myself, but it's butt-funny when it's not me.

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