Today is July 9th, which means I have one month to my due date. One month to accept the fact that I'm terrified of newborns and yet I'm going to have one of my own. One month to enjoy sleeping in more than two hour blocks. One month to come to terms with the fact that I might crap on myself in front of a room of people.
In the past few days my nesting instinct has kicked in and I've become a whirlwind of do-do-do and buy-buy-buy. Technically we have everything we need, yet I'm not feeling done. I routinely look at my registry and debate if I want to buy the wipe warmer or if I want to live without it. Do I need the bottle drying rack? Or any other number of things that seem excessive, but how can I survive without them? I doubt my mom wiped my ass with a warm wipe and I'm a seemingly normal and well adjusted adult, so do I really need to wipe my kid's ass with one? After spending time thinking about this I want to punch myself in the face, because why am I wasting brain power debating warm wipes?
Up until this week I was managing to not look too hugely pregnant, but today I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I swear it's like I'm hiding a basketball under my shirt. I suspect this last month is when I'm going to put on all my pregnancy weight since all that's left for him to do is get fatter. Right now he sits high, cramping my organs and kicking me in the lungs. I am impatiently waiting for him to drop lower so I can breath again, but I don't think that's on his agenda for anytime soon. In fact, if anything I think he's climbing higher and possibly plotting an escape through my throat.
At times one month seems like forever and I can't understand why I feel so compelled to rush around like a mad person trying to get things done. But then the next minute hits and I freak out even more because one month is not that long. 30 days? IS THAT ALL? How am I supposed to organize an entire house in that time? How am I going to find the time to categorize his clothes by type of outfit and then by size with only 30 days? I can't wait for this month to be over with just so I can finally have some relief from this neurotic nesting and can move on to other things. Like trying to figure out how to keep my nipples from cracking and bleeding. Wow, parenthood is going to be fun.