Sunday night I placed an ad on craigslist under the domestic gigs category. Basically I had spent the day staring at my massive pile of clean laundry and just couldn't take it anymore, so I posted explaining that I was looking for someone to help me fold, iron, and put away laundry once a week, and if time permits, take care of some other light housework. I offered to pay hourly, but since I have no idea what this kind of light housework should pay, I asked people to name their own pay rates.
Before we go any farther, let me give you two pieces of advice:
1. If you ever want blog fodder, post an ad on craigslist, because the responses! Holy hell, the responses are awesome.
2. When you post an ad on craigslist, don't use your main email address. Even though I had them make my email anonymous, my inbox has been flooded with responses. Seriously, we're talking over 150 so far.
At this point I'm not certain I'll end up hiring anyone because really, can't I handle doing my own laundry? (ha, I couldn't do my own laundry before life with a baby) But I am certain I need to share some of the responses with you:
"I'm a proud American, born on American soil." Wow, is someone a little xenophobic? I wonder what part of my ad made them think I'm looking specifically for an American. And not just some pansy-ass-not-proud American, but a Proud! American! who was born on American! Soil! America, Fuck Yeah! How awesome would it be if this person found out they were born in Canada because their parents were on vacation and their mom went into labor while there? What would they put on their cover letters if that were the case? How could they live with themselves?
"I like to foil clothes. I like clothes to be foiled like in stores." Thanks, but I've got all my foil hat needs met at this time.
"I would like to work for you. I like to do laundry. I don't iron." Ironing is the majority of what I need done. In fact, it says it right there in the ad. Perhaps next you could apply to be an astronaut. "I would like to travel. I like spaceships. I don't want to leave the Earth"
"I have experience with basic housekeeping. I can help you for $50 an hour." So wait, let me make sure I understand this, you want $50 an hour to do my laundry? Is this code for a prostitute? Have I stumbled on to some kind of secret craigslist sex ring? "Hey baby I love doing laundry, can I fluff your towel with my mouth?" And if we're not talking about $50 an hour for sex, is this person crazy? I want to email her back and say that if I could afford to pay her that much wouldn't I already have a full staff to attend to my every need?
Out of over 100 responses, three look promising because they are college students who could potentially become baby sitters. The rest of the applicants are either too crazy to allow into my house or too expensive for anything other than sex. Who knew good help was so hard to find.