Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I have many more gym complaints, but I'll spare you

Can we talk about a few things that have been pissing me lately? Perhaps it's because I've been sleeping less but it seems like way more little things drive me out of my damn mind and I just can't take it anymore. And seriously, it's all little things that should not bother me. What can I say, parenthood has made me a cranky bitch. Now I understand what happened to my mom. (kidding, mom. Please don't cut me out of your will, I really want your jewelry.)

A radio station here has started playing what they call "Vintage Vinyl" but I call "Songs From When I Was In High School And Are Not Vintage By Any Means, Dammit I Am Not Old." When I hear the term "Vintage Vinyl" I expect songs that were actually released on vinyl, not songs that came out in the age of cds, which are not made of vinyl. I guess "Plastic from the Past" doesn't have the same catchy ring to it that "Vintage Vinyl" has. Also, that song from Kids is not vintage music! Neither is Closing Time by Semisonic! Don't make me send you a list of acceptable vintage songs Live 105, because I will. I have no life and have time to care about this sort of crap.

I've recently joined a new gym and many people there wear these abominations:class =

I honestly can't come up with words that accurately convey the level of disgust I have for those shoes. Those shoes are what happens when crocs and toe socks drink a bottle of vodka and then do something regrettable together. They are unnatural and should be eradicated from the Earth. I should not have to look at them while I work out and my mind will not be changed about this no matter what you say.

And speaking of the gym, are there rules regarding using cardio equipment too close to another gym goer? Today I was on a treadmill and there were at least ten other treadmills open to my left, yet a woman got on the one right next to me. Too close! Personal space! I don't want to be sprayed by your sweat! There need to be rules about this. I think we could apply men's urinal rules to these types of situations and everyone would be happier.

Has anything been pissing you off that you would like to share with the class?


  1. oh, those are funny complaints. seriously, what in the fuck are those thing? are they really shoes? what do people do with them? are they instead of running shoes? i don't understand.

    hold me.

  2. I happen to own a pair of those. They make it so I can run without hurting my knees. Cause apparently shoes do that to me. These are essentially like being barefoot, with a little bit of protection.

  3. Those are Vibram Five Fingers shoes. I wear them (a solid black pair, not the ugly variety you show here). They have permanently changed the way I exercise - no more of the typical pains I get from running in regular shoes. I had to giggle when you called them "unnatural" because they are quite the opposite. Working out in athletic shoes with a heel lift is unnatural. I was never a runner or an athlete until my Five Fingers and I'll never go back. I'd recommend the book "Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall if you want more background on that type of footwear.

    If it makes you feel better, I work out in my ugly shoes outdoors instead of a gym, so you'll never run across me. :-)

  4. There's a guy in my office that wears those things to work. Yes, we have a casual dress code, but still.

    Speaking of personal space, there are several ladies in my office who carry on cell phone conversations in the bathroom. While going. Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

  5. yeah, I don't get those shoes. My bro-in-law wears them, and so does Nate, who was on the wine tasting tour with us. Inexplicable.

  6. Are those shoes supposed to be comfortable? I DO NOT LIKE!

    I can't think of anything that has been pissing me off, but that's just because I'm hung over.

  7. 1. Those shoes offend me.

    2. I'm totally pissed off with all the unsolicited wedding advice I've been receiving.

  8. I don't know what the hell those are, but i reckon anywhere else I've ever lived you'd get your ass kicked for trying to go out in those things. And when your mom was done, the rest of the fam would start giving you the beatdown.

    Also, Semisonic is "Vintage"? Songs from when I was in GRAD SCHOOL are now "vintage"? Live 105 can go F my Social Security check.

    Also, if I'm visiting a building, and when I come out, I have a warning ticket because I was there too long, and there's absolutely nothing anywhere that says how long "visiting" is, well, my car had better be there or I. Will. Cut. You. I mean it. I have a head that feels like somebody's trying to open it with the Jaws of Life and I have to babysit doctors all day today and YOUR BOY IS NOT HAVIN' IT TODAY.

    Finally, for crying out loud people, stop calling IT because you can't load a Facebook app. You're just going to get mocked.

  9. a little bitch kid tried to hit coop in the face with her croc yesterday. My friend Erin has always thought crocs were the devil's shoes, and now I agree.

    people in their cars piss me off. getting close too close to me and not using fucking turn signals. I am still fuming from my morning commute! mother fuckers!

  10. those shoes are pretty horrible. perhaps there is a benefit, but ick. And how do they not hurt your toes?
    Semisonic is old? Sigh. I am ancient.

  11. Do people wear those to like, run?