Anyway, back to the delusional aspect of this story.
I was walking through White House Black Market when I stumbled upon the perfect little black sequined dress. And then I tried the dress on and saw that the word that needs the most stress in that last sentence is little. It is hella short. I tried it on, looked in the mirror, thought "holy crap, that's a lot of leg" and then bought it anyway because I am
If I had one of those ever popular Life Lists "wear a sequined dress" would be on it. I know right now I'm not in the best shape to rock a dress with a "high hemline" but chances are, in the future I'll be in worse shape. I'm also well aware that this dress doesn't have to be the one that fulfills my desire, in fact Target has a really cute sequined dress right now, but I figure go big or go home. Or in this case, go teeny tiny hemline or go home.
So there you have it, I have lost my mind and bought a short sequined dress that is not meant to be worn by an adult of my size. And I have bought it to wear around jparks' coworkers. I'm considering it payback for last year's holiday party where jparks got drunk and yelled in the middle of the dance floor "I have poo issues! I can't poo if people can hear me! So what!" Honestly, I think what he did was worse. It's one thing to have an inappropriately dressed wife, it's another to loudly share the requirements of your bowel movements while people are trying to dance to YMCA.
Can anyone make a shoe suggestion to complete the look? Also, the model is wearing fishnets with open toe shoes, are we rocking that look now? I was going to maybe wear opaque tights so I don't blind people with my white legs, are open toe shoes okay with them? Is it acceptable with tights so long as they aren't reinforced toe? I'm so confused because open toe shoes with tights have been such a fashion no for me for so long that even the idea of wearing them together feels wrong. And can someone talk me out of buying this tank? So shiny!