Wednesday, November 3, 2010

sleep disorder

Jparks and I are in a bedtime stand off. He's gotten it into his head that he sleeps better if he's at angle in the bed. I've gotten it into my head that he's wrong. It's not comfortable for me and how can sleeping at an angle be any more comfortable then sleeping straight up and down? For the record, we have a Tempur-pedic mattress that is less than 2 years old so it's not like the springs on his side are starting to lose springiness. He just likes to be a pain in the ass, even when unconscious.

Here's a delightful illustration of how we sleep at night:
jparks sleeping
Basically I am left with a renegade leg shoved into my side or chest. It is the most uncomfortable way to sleep. That's a scientifically proven fact.

Here's how jparks slept while he was sick and I slept on the couch:
jparks sick
I added a sad face since he was sick and sheet because I got all fancy and figured out how to make a squiggly line. He swears he slept better making that clockwise rotation around the bed until he hit the exact right spot stretching from side to side.

Last night he convinced me to try rotating and sleeping at an angle and it was awful. I ended up with one leg kind of stuck out for him to cuddle and, of course, he said it was just so amazingly comfortable, how could I not like it?!? What kind of freak am I to want to sleep with my head towards the top of the bed and my feet pointing at the bottom?!?

I see no way for us to come to a compromise over this unless the purchase of a second bed is involved. And while I could only dream of having that kind of sleeping real estate at my disposal, I am so not ready to become that couple. So straighten up and sleep right jparks! Look how happy we are when we both sleep the right direction. Don't you want this kind of happiness?



  1. will and jparks must be chatting. i woke up this morning to a knee in my left side and the other foot kicking my right leg off of the bed. men.

  2. You drew perfect facial hair and a squiggly line! Are a computer genius.

    (And you're right about the sleeping. Perhaps if he spends a night or two on the sofa he will see how comfortable your way - the right way - is?)

  3. I'm with jparks, I LOVE sleeping at an angle, especially in hotel beds.

    That said, I sleep alone, so it doesn't harm anyone but the cats.