I can neither confirm nor deny that today I frantically stripped to my bra and underwear on my back patio because I thought a spider had jumped on me while I was on the phone with pest control. Okay fine, confirm. Of course after shaking out my jeans and shirt I couldn't find the spider but that's not surprising since spiders are notoriously sneaky little fucks. This one is probably just chilling on the patio waiting to start round two. Please remember, spiders are scary.
Another example of my ability to be an awesome human is that I am incapable of seeing Truman play with a steering wheel at a playground without singing:
I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on
One day I should send him to the playground with little dress up heels on for my own amusement.