me: What's the male version of an OB? Like a balls doctor?
jparks: I don't know.
me: Proctologist? Is that it?
jparks: God no, that's the other end! Don't make me an appointment with a proctologist! They stick their finger up your butt!
I ended up having to call his mom to find out the answer because there was no way in hell I was Googling "balls doctor." Who the hell knows what kind of weird fetish stuff that search would have returned.