Friday, June 17, 2011

but I won't do that

I sort of hate all of y'all for not shaking me really hard when I mentioned I was going to have renovations done on the house while continuing to try to live in it. And while parenting a toddler. And creating another child with my own body. Friends, it is your job to talk me out of stupid decisions. Like if I announced I was going to name New Baby "Strawberry Pie Parks" because that's been what I most want to eat, I fully expect you to say "What the hell lady? Try again!" (Please note, this is not what I expect if I say we've already filled out her birth certificate using the name Strawberry Pie Parks. In that case make fun of me all you want but only silently or behind my back.)

Anyway, here we are 5 days into the estimated 5 week remodel and I'm about to lose my damn mind. Let me take you on a tour so you can also feel my pain.

Here's the master bathroom:
I like to think of the walls as a giant game of Tetris now. Also, you know what's fun? Playing "Shit, I forgot to move my toothbrush off the counter this morning, where did the painters hide it?"

Who doesn't love having a shop vac covered in drywall dust just hanging out in their living room all the time?

or random disassembled ceiling fans hanging out in a corner

Truman views the paper on the floor not as something we need to keep down for protection, but as something to shred and rip apart and sometimes draw on. The dog views it as a convenient place to pee.

While all of this work is enough to send me directly into a mental ward, there have been some nice moments about it. Like the other day when I needed a jar opened and couldn't get it on my own; I had a house full of men to assist me. I did not have to do without my jelly sandwich.

Or today when the whole painting crew broke out into song. What song? My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. It was truly an awesome moment. They've been really great about asking before they turn on music and I always tell them to go ahead. They spend their day painting to the Spanish radio station and today was no different. I usually zone the music out so I thought for sure I was wrong with I heard that opening flute part, but after a few seconds I knew not only was the station playing Celine but the whole crew was singing along with her. I was in my room really trying hard not to laugh at them. Some of the guys on the crew barely speak English but they knew all the words to the Titanic theme. How is that even possible? Why would the Spanish station play her? Why were the guys so proudly singing along with it? Next week can I expect a rendition of Meat Loaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love" because that might just make all the dust worth it.


  1. Please for the love of G-D get a video of that if it really happens.

    The internet needs that.

  2. omg. i wish i could witness you smiling to the titanic song.

  3. OMG- I would have laughed so hard I peed (especially when pregnant, I peed all the ding dang time then). The folly of your renovation is that you can't drink during the renovations; that's got to be the key.

  4. That is aMAZing that they were singing along to "My Heart Will Go On." Like, that would make it worth it to me, Meat Loaf or no.

    Also, this is why, when my dad was working on our kitchen, I was glad to be at work during the day. I didn't have to actually see him cutting holes into my walls or sawing through parts under my cabinet or getting dust EVERYWHERE. I came home and he'd have one project in the kitchen done and mostly cleaned up. It was fantastic.

  5. Clearly the cat is not enjoying the Shop Vac either. She'd like to kill it.

    I hope this work is all done by the time I come in October.