Friday, July 22, 2011

the waiting game

Still pregnant. The new end date is Thursday, meaning I'll be heading to the hospital for an induction if Oprah doesn't make her apparence before then. Maybe she's waiting for someone to announce her the way her namesake was announced at the beginning of each show? I never watched Oprah so can anyone fill me in on how that part of the show went so I can properly set it up? Was it something fun like Ellen's dancing? Does she need the promise of a few of her favorite things in the delivery room? Where is Gayle, is she busy, can she come cut the cord?

Unrelated to my being pregnant, doesn't this toy pig have some massive balls?
pig balls
I mean, it's obscene! And of course this is one of Truman's favorite toys.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I carried a watermelon

I'm 38 weeks now and according to one website Little Oprah is the size of a watermelon and according to another she is the size of a leek. To me those are vastly different and I can tell you which one I would rather have ripping its way out of me. (hint: it's not the watermelon)

Side view

Go ahead and judge me for those shorts if you want. We've had 29 days of 100+ degree weather here in Austin so you're all lucky I'm wearing anything at this point. Speaking of those shorts, I just went to the bathroom and noticed they are splitting at the seam that runs right down the middle of my ass. Thank god I've been wearing them out and about all damn day. Also, my ass needs to stop growing.

Stupidly I was awake for most of last night (no really, I only slept for two hours) because I thought I was in labor. Trust me, I wasn't but thanks to some late night Google searching I was certain my water was going to break at any moment. So I laid, uncomfortably, in bed just waiting for the downpour that never came. You would think based on this behavior I've never birthed a baby before.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Little Oprah Parks

So, about the name. (again. Yes, I know I need to find a new topic.) I really appreciate all your comments and emails about the name that is not Oprah but is kind of like that. What I wasn't expecting was that so many people would say they need to know the name before they could give an honest opinion. I should have seen that coming because it totally makes sense that you would need to know the name/celebrity before you could decide if I'm crazy or not, but still color me surprised.

I've taken a week to think about it and I was certain we weren't going to use the name. I could spill the name beans and we could all openly laugh at me but then jparks announced that he's not ready to let go of Oprah. He has quickly changed from Team "You're Kidding About That Name, Right?" to Team "That's The Only Name In The History Of Names That I Like." I'm still on the fence, leaning more towards the no camp, but the thing is if I tell y'all and you say I'm crazy, Little Oprah is fucked for life, and then we use the name anyway, well, I'll have to leave the internet forever.

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic (it just comes naturally when you're this pregnant) but I just know that I wouldn't be able to look anyone in the eye if you say how awful the name is and then we can't find a suitable replacement. So for now I'm keeping the name under wraps. After the baby is here either we'll use that name or I'll finally tell y'all. Either way, after all this navel gazing I'm sure you won't care anymore.