Wednesday, May 23, 2012

in which I ask very important questions about my hair

Is 32 an appropriate age to go through a midlife crisis? Because a few weeks back I was almost half way through my 32nd year and suddenly consumed with the idea that I needed to do something to make myself seem younger. Cooler. Not so mom-to-two-kids-ish. I happened to have a hair appointment that afternoon and I decided to ask my stylist to bleach my tips and dye them purple. I mean, why not? I'd never had purple hair before (Red hair that was probably a bit closer to purple than red, yes. But straight up purple? No.) and figured if not now, when?

So I asked. And she refused.

Turns out you can't go in for a cut and ask for a dye job because there just isn't time for that kind of ridiculousness. But she also refused in general saying that tips were not really what I wanted. She suggested I book another appointment and let her bleach some streaks hidden under a layer of hair which we could then color. I agreed and went back a month later for my dye job.

And again she refused.

Well, she technically only partially refused. She agreed to go ahead with bleaching some streaks but when it was time to add in some dye, she said she felt like I should really skip the dye and live with the blonde for a little bit. Then she dried my hair and handed me a mirror to check it out. I was unimpressed. Sure, the blonde was neat but it was so hidden and not what I had in mind. But you apparently can't make your hairdresser do something she doesn't want to do, so I went on my way.

I've lived with the blonde for about three weeks now and dammit I still want purple. Here's some of the blonde when you lift up the top layer (Please note my bald spot. I lost so much more hair after Pippa than I did after Truman. Thank god it's growing back)

Holy crap, that's blonde. But once that layer is down, the blonde disappears:

So let me ask you, is it worth the begging I will have to do to get my stylist to dye it purple? The blonde layer goes all the way around my head but really isn't that visible as you can see in the picture. When I run and have my hair in a ponytail I have a pretty awesome racing stripe which makes me want to wear a ponytail all the time. In this picture from a previous post, you can see that sometimes the blonde works it way out into daylight:

Do I beg or not? Is this bad idea jeans at their finest? Do I need to forget about the purple and move on with my old lady life?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I'm going to form a Bitch Face Foundation

I went to Miami over the weekend:

and came home with a series of pictures highlighting a very serious condition I suffer from called Bitch Face.

Bitch Face heading to the white party:

Bitch face wearing new aviator glasses that I'm obsessed with: Untitled

And wearing my new favorite dress on Friday night. Perhaps this Bitch Face is because I'm mad that my legs are so white they look like opaque stockings?

Wait, you need a bitch face close up? I can do that!
bitch face

Bitch face goes to the Versace Mansion:

And finally Bitch Face catches an early morning flight home:

Perhaps the only time I wasn't sporting Bitch Face was when I ordered drinks poolside or when I won a trip to Jamaica. Although I have no pictures to confirm or deny this hypothesis:

 drinks poolside

Seriously, how do I have any friends when I suffer from such a severe case of bitch face?