Friday, December 21, 2012
the big fat truth
Confession time: I've pretty much let myself go. That's putting it nicely; the truth is I've been eating crap lately and in excessive quantities with no stop button. If it's consumable, I consume it. I've put on weight, some of my skinny jeans are far from fitting, and well, I don't want to be seen naked. Read that as you will.
I have no excuse for this other than lately I've had this food void that I can't fill. It's not a craving exactly as I don't want any one specific food, I just want food. I thought maybe I wanted something carb heavy but when I indulge in that, it's not satisfying. I thought I wanted a hunk of beef, and while our steaks were delicious, they also weren't satisfying. Cookies? Meh. Egg Salad? Good not great. Spinach and Artichoke dip? Super tasty but after it I still wanted something else.
I read somewhere that if you think you're hungry ask yourself if steamed fish and broccoli sound good. If they do then go ahead and eat, if not then move on because you're not really hungry. I love this idea but my problem is that steamed fish does sound good. But I know I would eat it and still want something else, something different after it. I mean, what's up with this?
Did I mention that I'm also not ever really hungry? Like I just eat because I know I need to eat and once I start I can't stop. "Hey look, a tin of butter cookies! I should eat one because they're festive and shit. Hell, I ate one I might as well keep going." Y'all, it's so weird that despite having an IUD and jparks having had a vasectomy, I still took a pregnancy test because what else could cause this food hole? It came back negative probably because of the lack of wanting to be seen naked.
Starting in early January I'm going to try a round of Whole 30 with some other internet people and see if that helps reset this weirdness I have happening. If it doesn't, I don't really know what I'll do. Wire my jaw shut? Is that still an option? Do you see a dentist for it or is it a cosmetic procedure now?