Tuesday, May 14, 2013

caffeinated butter juice

I don't know how to tell you this delicately without you thinking I've lost my damn mind so I'll just spit it out: I've been drinking bulletproof coffee. Does that mean nothing to you? Brace yourself, here it is:

So yeah, coffee with butter. And oil. I'm drinking that shit. I think I might have hit my head pretty hard recently and I don't remember it because why else would I be drinking this? Oh, because people on the internet were doing it and I'm a lemming. Awesome, where's the nearest cliff?

A while back I came across the recipe for bulletproof coffee and I'm pretty sure I sent it to various friends with the comment "Paleo people are batshit crazy!" And I still stand by that statement and accept that this now makes me batshit crazy too. Do I like the coffee? Maybe. Kinda. I don't know. I mean, it's supposed to be magical and at this point, I'm drinking it waiting for the magic to happen. 

I find I'm in a similar situation I was in during my Whole30. That program claims that around day 16 you start to feel amazing. Stronger! Thinner! An all around better human! Everyone wants to feel awesome so I committed to the program and ended up feeling kind of normal the whole time. Sure, I became ridiculously cranky as they predicted but instead of swinging over to Super Human, I just slowly swung back to my normal self. I went through the trouble of making almond milk for that? Ugh.

Jump ahead to my current life and a friend on Twitter was raving about her daily bulletproof coffee. She was losing weight drinking butter! She was performing better at Crossfit! Of course I immediately thought "I want those things too! Pass me the caffeinated butter juice!" 

I've been having one cup every morning for about two weeks and once again there's no tiger blood. No increased strength. I feel exactly the same. I have no idea how long I'll continue this odd morning routine as grassfed butter isn't cheap and neither is the special MCT oil needed. On the other hand, today I came across this infographic and hell if I know how much of it is accurate, but it is interesting. 

So there you have it, I'm drinking butter in my coffee. I guess my next move will be to cut out the middle man and straight up have a stick of butter for breakfast. But only grassfed butter. Anything less than that would just be crazy. 


  1. You've totally lost your damn mind.

  2. I have actually heard of this... I can't remember where but I think I read about some country where butter in coffee is fairly normal, at least amongst the "regular" coffee-drinkers.

    I always think of that one episode of "Malcolm in the Middle" where Hal starts fattening his wife up by adding butter to her coffee, hahaha.