I read this and could not stop laughing. It’s from Repent America.com.

HURRICANE KATRINA DESTROYS NEW ORLEANS
DAYS BEFORE “SOUTHERN DECADENCE” 8/31/05

PHILADELPHIA - Just days before “Southern Decadence”, an annual homosexual celebration attracting tens of thousands of people to the French Quarters section of New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina destroys the city.

“Southern Decadence” has a history of filling the French Quarters section of the city with drunken homosexuals engaging in sex acts in the public streets and bars. Last year, a local pastor sent video footage of sex acts being performed in front of police to the mayor, city council, and the media. City officials simply ignored the footage and continued to welcome and praise the weeklong celebration as being an “exciting event”. However, Hurricane Katrina has put an end to the annual celebration of sin.

On the official “Southern Decadence” website (www.SouthernDecadence.com), it states that the annual event brought in “125,000 revelers” to New Orleans last year, increasing by thousands each year, and up from “over 50,000 revelers” in 1997. This year’s 34th annual “Southern Decadence” was set for Wednesday, August 31, 2005 through Monday, September 5, 2005, but due to massive flooding and the damage left by the hurricane, Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco has ordered everyone to evacuate the city.

The past three mayors of New Orleans, including Sidney Barthelomew, Marc H. Morial, and C. Ray Nagin, issued official proclamations welcoming visitors to “Southern Decadence”. Additionally, New Orleans City Council made other proclamations recognizing the annual homosexual celebration.

“Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city,” stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage. “From ‘Girls Gone Wild’ to ‘Southern Decadence,’ New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge,” he continued.

New Orleans is also known for its Mardi Gras parties where thousands of drunken men revel in the streets to exchange plastic jewelry for drunken women to expose their breasts. This annual event sparked the creation of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series.

“We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long,” Marcavage said. “May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God,” Marcavage concluded.

“[God] sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45)

So I was planning a trip to Austin even before Hurricane Katrina for the Tori Amos concert and so far the plan is to still get to the concert. In fact I’m so weirdly obsessed with Tori that I’m leaving Houston obscenely early to get to an Austin bookstore where Tori is doing a signing.

Yup, the plan is to meet and tell her my tale of woe. I don’t want pity, I just want to shake Tori’s hand and maybe score some backstage passes.

Actually I like to pretend that I’ll be able to form coherent sentences when I meet her, but I’ll probably just be drooling and nodding my head like a mad woman. I should type it all out and pin it to my shirt so Tori knows what the hell I’m attempting to say to her.

I have always been bizarrely and possibly criminally obsessed with Tori but in this strange time of unemployment and homelessness I’m hinging a lot of emotions on her and her concert. It’s weird, like if I can just see her in person and shake her hand somehow I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay moving to another city where I have no friends or family. I’ll be okay looking for a new job when I don’t even have a resume or anything other than jeans to wear to interviews. I’ll be okay trying to finish my degree and transferring all my credits to a new college.

I’m thinking that somehow this can’t turn out well. Wish me luck.

Today I was driven around Houston by my wonderful hostess Erin. She showed me some great areas to look for housing in. I’m not going to seriously start looking for a place just yet since I’m leaving for Austin on Friday morning for the Tori concert. I should be back in Houston on Monday.

I spoke with my sister in law today. Her house is in Hammond, LA and she is currently without power but safe. She has spoken to my Dad and Stepmom recently and they seem to have made it out of Mandeville safe. My Grandfather refused to leave New Orleans and is safe at his assisted living place, but may have to leave soon due to a lack of food for all residents.

I still haven’t heard from my Mom or my Grandmother but I’m not allowing myself to stress too much about it. I figure stressing out about it will do me no good and that right now I need to focus on reestablishing my life.

Okay so it’s time to decide, which city am I moving to since Katrina sunk New Orleans down to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico?

Any suggestions?

With a Louisiana drivers license IKEA allows you to eat free in their cafeteria. All the meatballs, princess cake, and lignonberry punch you can eat.

At least that’s one good thing to come out of Hurricane Katrina.

I can’t believe that the Superdome roof is peeling off. I never thought I would hear those words.

I’m afraid to go home and see the damages, that scares me. What if I have no home? At least I would get to rebuy all my stuff. Hello, Ikea!

If you are reading this and you are from New Orleans please post your current location in the comments area so I know you are safe. My cell phone reception is HORRIBLE right now and I can barely get in touch with anyone.

Am tired.

I left New Orleans Saturday night at 8:00 pm and arrived in Baton Rouge at 11:30 pm, mainly due to the fact that contraflow sucks and is very easy to get lost on. After sleeping for roughly 2 to 3 hours we got up and prepared to leave for Houston. We were on the road for 6:30 am and arrived in Houton at about 1:00 pm.

Traffic was smooth mainly the whole way, except for at one point when we hit a dead stand still. I could see cop lights ahead so I knew we were all slowing down to rubbernack at an accident. Figuring since every person on the road was running for their lives and only an AWESOME accident would slow us all down I prepared to see a body without a head on the side of the road. But when I got close I saw that we were all slowing down to watch some guy change his tire. Yes, the entire city of New Orleans is running from the worst hurricane in history and we must slow down to rubbernack a GUY CHANGING HIS TIRE. I wanted to kill someone. Fucking morons.

Anyway.

I might leave for Austin tomorrow or the next day depending on when our hosts kick us out. We will definately be in Austin for Friday because I’m not letting an evucation stop me from getting to the Tori amos concert.

I have computer access and email and since you are reading this I’m assuming you do too, so please feel free to email me. Or call me if you have my number and can get through.

Be safe.

jparks: “Could you please just calm down and breath?”

me: “I’m not doing any of that hippy breathing bullshit! Next you’re going to want me to align my chakras and become one with myself!”

Apparently breathing is now only for hippies and not something I’m interested in doing.

Well, at least for me it’s over. My advisor moved me out of Feminist Theory and into an urban planning class called Planning for Hazards.

And no, after I’m done with this planning for hazards class I will not come hang up hurricane boards over your windows.

OH DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF FEMINIST THEORY RIGHT NOW!

Have I made that clear enough? I HATED the class last night. It was a bunch of women whining about how it’s so hard to be a woman.

Before I get lynched and have my vagina taken away from me let me explain that yes, as a woman I do want to be treated equally. And that yes I do deserve the same amount of respect as a man.

But rather than whining about not getting respected, I get out there with the big boys and demand it. I can hold my own in any room, in any situation, and I don’t let anyone tell me that my place is lower than theirs.

The class started with a 30 minute writing assignment “What it means for me to be a woman” or “What defines me as a woman”. At the end of the 30 minutes we had to stand up and read our papers. Some women stood up and said they resent their husbands because as a wife they are expected to work a full day in an office, come home to cook dinner and clean the house, and then head out to school, while their husbands don’t have to do anything but work.

Are these women expected to do those things because they are a woman, or because they are with a man that has bought into those gender roles and won’t allow for any other options? I know that I couldn’t be with a man that wouldn’t cook dinner, or help clean the house. A relationship is an equal partnership and I choose to not be around men that won’t help with “woman’s work”.

One girl said when her and her boyfriend go to the movies she is always checking his face to see his reactions. What?!?!?!?! She then made it worse by saying that she sometimes gages her reactions based on his. And this defines her as a woman, because this means women are more concerned with emotions than men.

Oh, where to begin with this poor student? First of all yes, women can be more emotional than men, it has to do with biology, but plenty of men out there are emotional as well. (psst, those are the men that are going to help you cook and clean). But at the same time you need to own your emotions and go with them. You can’t look to a man to see if you should be laughing or crying. You need to decide if it’s a time to laugh, cry, or both of those together.

Some women said they don’t want to get married because marriage means losing a part of yourself. These woman probably look at marriage as “finding your other half” or “becoming someones better half”. The last time I checked 1 + 1 =2. Marriage is not about losing yourself, but bringing yourself to be part of a partnership. An equal partnership.

Am I being too preachy yet? Can you tell I was about to lose my mind in this class?

By the time I finally stood up I knew I was a minority in the class, being that I’m not angry or upset because I’m a woman.

I told the class that until recently I was engaged, but I did not cancel the wedding because I resent marriage, but because I just didn’t feel like an equal in the relationship. I said rather than enter into a lifetime of resent towards my husband I changed my plans. I have no ill feelings towards marriage and look forward to getting married to a man that respects me. At this the class picked up their flaming torches and pitchforks.

I then told them that I enjoy being a woman. Some other classmates said they resent being physically weaker than men. They hate not being able to change a flat tire. I said that I am not physically weak and that my workout partner is male and on many exercises I can do more weight than him or at least keep up with him. And that I can change a flat tire, but why should I when there are boys around to do it for me?

At this statement the class proceeded to throw rocks and other heavy blunt objects at me.

I then made them hate me more by saying that recently I was told by a man that I’m “a man with breasts” and I was not offended by this. For me that meant that I am getting equal respect from men and yet I’m stilling being seen as a woman. The professor asked me to clarify further and I explained that when I’m around boys I go toe to toe with them. If they say something rude or crude rather than faking embarrassment or shock I go one step further and say something worse.

By the time I finished that statement the class had chased me down the hall, through the parking lot, and right off of campus with their torches and pitchforks.

After me a handful of other people went and at the end the professor said that she really enjoyed our ideas and that the class would have a group therapy feel to it since we are discussing theories that apply to our lives. I didnt sign up for group therapy and I DON’T WANT GROUP THERAPY. I AM NOT ANGRY THAT AM A WOMAN!

sigh, I emailed my advisor this morning asking him to find me another class to take, ANY other class to take because I just don’t think I’m going to do well in this one.