Besides making me very angry yesterday, Disney World has been an incredible amount of fun. The rides, the characters, the shows, all of it is incredibly detailed and amazing. I was a little worried that we would be bored by the end of the week, but I now see how that’s not even close becoming a reality. We will collapse from exhaustion before we run out of things to do.

Last night was Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party and to get into the spirit of the night I decided to crush a few kids hopes and dreams. Ok, maybe I didn’t plan that ahead of time, but upsetting some of them is what happened although it wasn’t really my fault.

There was an Alice in Wonderland Treat Trail featuring the namesake at the start of it taking pictures with guests. After some begging, I convienced jparks to take my picture with Alice, even though he feels that taking pictures with characters in Disney World is best suited for the kids and if an adult does it they might as well put a gun in their mouth, because they have failed as a member of society.

I was in line when the Cast Member attending to Alice announced she would be leaving shortly and might not make it to all the guests in line. I figured I would press my luck and see if I could make it up to her before she had to take her smoke and booze break (seriously the people that dress up have to be drunk or high or snorting some drug that Disney specially cooks up, because their level of chipperness and dedication to their character is scary). When I got to the front of the line the Cast Member declared that Alice would only be taking a picture with one more family and then she was leaving.

All the kids whined and sighed and basically acted like brats children act when a toy is dangled in front of them and then pulled away. And then they realized it would be me, a stupid adult, that would get to take their picture with Alice and not them.

Ha! Take that kids! You dressed up and painted your faces and got all excited for Halloween and then I show up in my normal clothes, I couldn’t even be bothered with a special Halloween shirt or anything, and I get to take my picture with Alice. I am awesome and you, well you kid, you just suck.

Disney’s computer system sucks. Please excuse me while I go rebuy some fucking tickets that I bought a week ago, but they lost. Oh wait, the morons that run this mouse house didn’t lose them, they just cancelled my reservation for me. Thanks Disney, that’s so super nice of you.

Bastards.

It’s not very early when I’m writing this, but it will be very early when this is published. I’m getting smart and creating my post for Saturday right now, before bed, while I can still form coherent thoughts. Our flight leaves at 7:30am and we are leaving for the airport at 5:30am and we don’t land in Orlando until way late Saturday night. If I don’t crank this out now, it probably won’t get done.

As we all know, I’m not a good flier. But this time I have a plan. This time I’m not going to get sick or nauseous thanks to my discovery of these bracelets. Let’s all say it together “These are not a load of crap. They will work, they will work” Thanks, I needed to know I had your support in thinking these would be effective.

Supposedly the bracelets hit an acupressure point in your wrist and calm upset stomachs. Normally I would think that is a load of crap, but I do like my acupuncturist, and while she did not suggest this, I like to think that what she does for a living in not a load of crap. My back has been feeling better lately, so she must be doing something right.

I never used to get motion sick as a kid. I could read in cars and not have a problem. I could ride every roller coaster at AstroWorld and not want to puke. But sometime between 20 and 22 the motion sickness button was flipped in me and even the most tame ride could get my head lodged in a toilet. If the bracelets work on the plane I’m going to try wearing them to DisneyWorld. Maybe I’ll get to ride the Tower of Terror, which looks like just the kind of ride that could make me ill for the rest of the day.

Or maybe the bracelets won’t work and I’ll puke all over jparks. Either way I’m sure it’ll be a good time.

edit: I worte that other stuff last night. Now it’s 430 in the morning and I now know that being awake this early in the morning sucks. sucksucksucks. It’s hard to form clear thoughts at this hour. nbk jt;hsr©ˆ´®t ajhgnbz fdlk/gbl. Time to shower…

I just called the hotel (don’t call a Disney Resort a hotel while on the phone with a Disney employee, they’ll correct you. Every single time you say hotel they. will. correct. you. You can’t win this test of wills Ms. Disney Employee, I’m going to call it a hotel and you can’t stop me) to find out if the hotel(!) has internet access. The chipper answer was “Yes, and it’s even high speed!” But when I asked if it was free, the tone in her voice changed. It turned a lot less chipper, as she explained that it’s $9.95 for 24 hours.

$10 a day for internet! That is such a rip off. Disney is mega stupid rich and they can’t provide free wi-fi to their hotel guests? Maybe I’m making wrong assumptions and it’s not 24 hours as in noon to noon, but 24 hours that ticks down for every hour you are logged in.

Anyway, I guess this is just my way of saying I might not be able to post as much as I planned. I’m still going to try to post daily, but unless someone wants to send me $50 for internet access, it might not happen. The weather better be beautiful to make up for this crap.

Last night I gave myself a mild concussion. It was totally not fun and I don’t recommend doing it, even if you are trying to make Jackass 3. This actually hurt more than the time I stepped on a rake at Girl Scout camp and it flew up and hit me in the forehead. And I can honestly say that stupid rake hurt a lot.

I bet you’re wondering how one goes about creating their own mild concussion. First you leave the cabinet above the washing machine open. Then you reach inside the washing machine to move clothes to the dryer. You do this once successfully so that next time you don’t pay much attention to the open door. This next step is the key to the whole operation: go to grab more clothes, as you reach into the machine you slam your head onto the corner of the door. The impact must be so hard that you fall to the ground yelling and you don’t even see stars, just blackness.

It was bad. My vision went all blurry and I had ringing in my ears. Jparks was outside for the actual hitting portion and when he came back in I had gotten up and for some reason decided to refill the cats water bowl. I guess I thought it would make me feel better. He took the bowl from me and made me go lay down. As soon as I hit the bed I wanted to go to sleep, but just couldn’t. Between the throbbing head and blurry world I couldn’t get comfortable. We joked that it might be a concussion, but not wanting to have to stay up all night, I didn’t go look up the symptoms. Jparks brought me a bag of ice to numb the pain and I whined a bit more before falling asleep.

When I woke up this morning my head was still throbbing and was sore. The area from my forehead to about half way back hurts when it’s touched. Even the water hitting it in the shower hurt.

I’m now at work and it’s not getting any better. But I have looked up signs of a concussion and I meet quite a few of them, so now I know that falling asleep last night was probably not the smartest thing to do. My boss keeps saying that I seem really out of it and wants to know if I feel like I need to go home. The answer is yes, I would love to go home, but I don’t feel like that might help. I’m extremely tired, but staying at work is probably better. Here I can keep moving and working and not wallow in the fact that I am the world’s largest moron. Plus if I collapse while in the office at least there are people to notice, at home Tangi would probably just come over and use my body as a scratching post.

Between this post and this post I bet you’re worried that jparks and I won’t live to see 30. You’re probably right. We probably shouldn’t have kids either. Ah well, we’ll just have the kids wear helmets and kneepads, I’m sure they’ll be fine.

The end of October is nigh and it’s time I talk about NaBloPoMo. Besides being something really fun to say, NaBloPoMo is a made up holiday by this obviously insane funny lady. Basically by adding the participant button to my blog I’ve vowed to make a post a day, every day in November. Not that there is a NaBloPoMo Police Squad watching and checking for a new post every day. So easy to cheat…Must resist temptation…

Normally posting daily would not be a problem but jparks and I leave for DisneyWorld on Saturday and I’m not sure how the internet access is there. And then we have whole days this month where we’ll be stuck in airports traveling (home from Disney and to NOLA for Thanksgiving). Maybe I can write up some posts and save them for those days, you know charming stories of my childhood and other crap. Or maybe I’ll tell you all about how I wore all black in high school and was total goth. Wow, I have so many options.

So, keep an eye on this blog all month, weekends included, for new posts. New posts about the same old crap.

FYI: If you can’t see the participant button, the it’s time you download firefox. And if you don’t want to download firefox, then the hell with you. Kidding, just scroll towads the bottom of this page and you’ll see many wonderous things you’ve been missing on my blog.

Tonight I had my first sewing class. Why am I taking a sewing class? Because I didn’t take home ec in high school. I didn’t even realize home ec was an option. If you were in the gifted classes you don’t get to take useful classes like home ec, you get to take fun classes like Biology II AP, because that’ll totally be useful when I need some pants hemmed or when my kids want Halloween costumes made. Thank god I dissected that rat in high school, that knowledge has come in so handy.

Anyway, tonight I went to my first class and picked out my very first pattern to sew. It’s a super cute clutch. Tiny and easy. If it comes out well I’m going to make another in a black fabric for holiday parties. And then I’m going to make one for every person I know for Christmas. Even the guys. Get your color requests in now.*

*Please note that just because you get a request in doesn’t guarantee you a clutch. I am known for being lazy and only half completing projects. Check out my rubbermaid knitting crate for proof of my laziness.

The third pair of boots for my fun game of BFCWFC came in and even though they were supposed to be extended calf, they didn’t fit. I should have known better than to expect a real extended calf from J.Crew. Here they are, in case you are keeping track of all the styles I’ve ordered and tried on lately.

I was planning on giving up, calling off the game because it was becoming too tiresome, too embarrassing, too self esteem crushing, but then I made shopping plans with Linda and Kathy. When they found out I was about to give up they whipped me back into shape, complete with cries of “Winners never quit!” and “Knowing is half the battle!” or something like that. It was very inspirational either way.

We headed to Bloomingdales, where I attacked the shoe department with my head held high. If I was going to find boots then I had to think positive and have a good attitude. I found two pairs that were both cute and not overly expensive and one pair that I thought was cute, but the brand was more known for comfort and not for style. I mean, I thought the boot was cute, but maybe I was just so desperate that anything looked good to me now.

I tried on the first two pairs and, holy crap, they fit. They were tight in the top and loose in the ankle, but dang it I could get them zipped. I called Kathy and Linda over to witness the miracle and they then convinced me to try on the third pair, the comfort boot. Well, apparently Bloomingdales exists in some weird alternate universe because the third pair of boots fit as well. Seriously, they had three pairs of boots housed in their shoe department that fit, when I’ve been agonizing over this for how long now? I officially have a special place in my heart for Bloomingdales now.

I ended up getting the comfort boots because they were the more unique looking out of the three pairs, and they were comfortable (surprising, eh?). So here they are, the winners of the Boot for Chicks with Fat Calves game:

The picture does not do them justice. They are really cute.

And, as a side note, the shoe department guy that was helping me suggested I buy whatever pair I like best and just have them stretched by a shoe repair place. Yeah, the solution to my problem was apparently that simple and obvious and I never even freaking thought of it. The shoe guy said he’s seen women buy boots that were no where close to zipping and then they have them stretched and, viola, you have boots that zip. I feel like a big huge moron for not thinking of that months ago.

I tried telling jparks that these were just ribbons, but he insisted on wearing it as a toupee. He sure can be stubborn.

Tomorrow night I start working on jparks’ birthday picnic lineup. So far the only things I know I’m making are cupcakes, cupcakes, and more freaking cupcakes. And cheeses. I guess I’m not really making cheeses as much as going to Trader Joe’s and handing over cash for them. Same difference.

I’m thinking of also having curried apple couscous, maybe some sandwiches, and uh, I don’t know, something else. The problem is that everything I make must be okay cold or room temperature. Lauren suggested a great sounding salad, but it contains tomatoes and jparks does not do tomatoes. I’m honestly kinda out of ideas. But, I haven’t really looked through my cookbooks yet, so I may actually have a ton of ideas and I just don’t realize it.

Any suggestions?