This month’s issue of Real Simple told me that don’t have to wash my hair everyday. And if Real Simple says it, then it MUST be true, so today I skipped washing my hair.

Folks, you may not realize it, but me not washing my hair is big deal. I’m of the shampoo and condition every single day mentality (you can’t shampoo and not condition, and why would you condition without shampooing?) If I skip a day my hair gets really gross and it bothers me. I’m compelled to play with it all day, which of course makes it much more disgusting. After a while I can’t handle how gross it feels and I end up pulling it back into a ponytail, which is not the best solution, but it helps.

According to Real Simple, your scalp is used to producing a certain amount of oil and if you skip stripping it of the oil for a few days it will stop producing as much, which means eventually you can skip a day of hair washing and not look like a hobo. (longest sentence ever™) Today was my first day into Operation Hair Repair (my hair has seemed kinda ‘over worked’ lately and I’m hoping that by skipping some shampooing it’ll get healthy again. Maybe even hold a hair color for longer than 3 days) and I lasted until about 10:30 before I was ready to rip out big chunks because it was so greasy and itchy and just disgusting. I finally had put my hair into a ponytail, which is jparks’ favorite hair style on me and my least favorite.

Tomorrow I get to wash my hair, and I can’t even begin to explain how exciting that is. Supposedly it takes a couple of weeks for your hair to lower its oil production so know that if you see me in these next few weeks and I have greasy hair and/or a ponytail, I’m clean. I swear I’m showering and wetting my hair, just not actually washing it.

Ugh, just writing about dirty hair is making my head itch. I wonder if I can try using baby powder to absorb the oil, or if that’ll just make me look like I’m wearing a powdered wig. I really hope Operation Hair Repair works and I’m not torturing myself for nothing.

Please Real Simple, don’t be wrong! I can’t handle having my faith in you shaken.

I have a confession: I am horrible with names. Beyond horrible actually. If you tell me your name, I will forget it in less than 10 seconds. That’s a guarantee, forgotten in 10 seconds or less or your money back.

This has never been much of a problem until recently. Since starting my new job I’ve met tons of people and, since my job is client services, I really should be remembering all of their names. But I can’t. I shake their hands and politely introduce myself to them and then Wham! forget their name as soon as they say it. It’s even worse when I’m on the phone with a person. They introduce them self and my ears blank out their name. “Hi this is cricket sounds and I’m calling…”

You would think in my private life I might make more of an effort to remember people’s names, but I don’t. Since joining Trapeze Arts I’ve met a bunch of people and can’t tell you one of their names. The sad part is that now I’ve seen them enough times that I can’t ask their names, that would be rude and weird. So I’m stuck waiting for someone else to call our their name so I can make a mental note of it.

Seems tiring doesn’t it? It really is. I spend a lot of time eavesdropping on conversations in the hopes that I’ll learn a name or two. I don’t know why I have this block against learning names and even when I have the best intentions to remember them, it seems I can’t.

On the other hand, I really am a nosy person and I love having a half way decent reason to eavesdrop. Maybe I unconsciously don’t learn people’s names so I can continue to do this guilt free. dear god, that’s sick and I might want to get some help.

“You look cute in that. I must look really good when I wear it.”

I recently received the chance to win fame and glory (within a small circle of friends) by correctly picking this year’s Oscar’s winners. I’ve got 24 categories to pick in and so far I’ve made one prediction, Best Animated Feature: Cars. And the only reason I was able to make that prediction was because it’s Pixar, so by default it has to win, right?

The problem I’m facing is that I have seen only one of the movies nominated for Best Picture (Little Miss Sunshine), one movie in the Best Actress category (Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada), and none of the movies in the Best Actor category.

I was kinda hoping you guys might help me make my decisions. I’ll list the category, tell you my pick, and then you guys can agree or disagree as you see fit.

Best Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio- Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling- Half Nelson
Peter O’Toole- Venus
Will Smith- the Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker- Last King of Scotland

my pick: Peter O’Toole. I think he’ll win because he’s an older actor that has been many times nominated but has never won. He has made it clear that he intents to win an Oscar before he stops acting and this may be the Academy’s last chance to fulfill his dream.

Best Actress:
Penelope Cruz- Volver
Judi Dench- Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren- The Queen
Meryl Streep- The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet- Little Children

my pick: Helen Mirren. I’ve read she’s amazing as Queen Elizabeth, bringing grace and sexuality to the role that no one expected.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:
Alan Arkin- Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley- Little Children
Djimon Hounsou- Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy- Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg- The Departed

my pick: Alan Arkin. He played the grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine in such an amazingly tender way I was just blown away. Despite the fact that he was a total coke head I just wanted to hug him.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:
Adriana Barraza- Babel
Cate Blanchett- Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin- Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson- Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi- Babel

my pick: uh, I have no idea. The only movie listed above that I saw was Little Miss Sunshine. While Abagail Breslin was good, was she Oscar good? I don’t think so.

Best Picture:
Babel
The Departed
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

my pick: The Departed, although I’m really not certain about that. Little Miss Sunshine was good and the Academy does like to prove it has a sense of humor by sometimes picking comedies that are good, but maybe not as good as other nominated movies.

Of course, there are tons of other categories including, Best Producer, Best Director, Original Song, and Best Screenplay, and I’ll gladly accept your opinions on those.

Come on people, don’t let me be a loser!

I’ve got another couple of trampoline lessons coming up (assuming I don’t knock myself out in the first 5 minutes of class) and I’m a bit concerned about my lovely lady humps.

As I previously mentioned, I am not ready for a juggy audition and need to find a way to strap them down for fear that they’ll bounce into harm’s way. The sports bras I have aren’t doing the trick and, if I’m remembering correctly, they are max support ones.

So I’m turning to you dear friends for support (har har, get it?) and help. What do you suggest I use to keep the humps in check? Is there a miracle brand of sports bra I don’t know about? Is there a trick that’s well known to everyone but me? I’ve got to figure something out or else my trampoline career might be ending soon.

Pictures from jparks and I’s weekend trip can be found here. We had tons of fun and plan on visiting Ashland again.

And Happy Mardi Gras. I’m a bit homesick and not happy right now. Mainly because I’m at a desk working and not enjoying crawfish and a Purple Haze.

Yesterday, after enduring 7 hours of horrible traffic, jparks and I arrived at the most amazing bed and breakfast I have ever stayed in. In honesty it’s the only true b&b I’ve ever stayed in so it didn’t have a lot of competition, but still the place is niiice.

We are staying in the Juliet room, and while it’s a bit on the lavender side, I am completely enamored with it and its huge spa tub that I swam laps in last night. I told jparks that I would like to live in this place and he laughed this off as just another one of those things I say but don’t mean, like “sure, I’ll stop buying shoes” and “yeah, we’ll have sex tonight”

But this time I mean it. I figured out that rent would be about $6200 per month. I’m still working out how we can afford that since it’s more than we make each month, but I’m smart so I’ll work something out. Maybe Lily can stop eating premium dog food and switch to store brand.

Now please excuse me, coffee and breakfast are being served downstairs and missing it would be a waste of my rent money.

“I think you’re right, my boobs are getting smaller.”

“Yeah, but you’re getting smaller everywhere. See, your jeans aren’t tight anymore pushing this (grabs at my stomach) over them.”

stunned look

“What? I’m just saying you’re getting thinner”

“By saying that previously I was fat with a muffin top.”

“I would never tell you you were fat if you were still fat.”

“Thanks”

Growing up I was never the kid at the top of the monkey bars or climbing trees. This also means I was never the kid with skinned up knees or broken bones. And while some might think this means I had a sheltered childhood, I can say I honestly loved sitting inside my safe, warm house reading all 528 Babysitter Club Books.

And I have remained relatively injury free right up until this year. It started when, during one trapeze class, I fell into the net landing just slightly on my head. I sat up and told jparks “oh, that hurt my neck a little” but didn’t think anything of it. By the time we got home I could barely turn my head. By the time we went to bed I was in a lot of pain. The next day I went to the Urgent Care clinic where x-rays revealed that I needed some prescription strength Aleve and a heating pad. Three days later I was healed and able to look in both directions again.

Then, earlier this week, I jumped off the trapeze platform with my arms bent. The pull of my body weight jerked my arms straight and hurt my right shoulder. Again, I thought nothing of it, and took another swing. That swing hurt a bit more. But of course, I climbed back up to the platform for a third swing. After that I was done for the night and could barely lift my arm.

That last incident was only 3 days ago and somehow I’ve managed to hurt myself again. Tonight jparks and I had our first trampoline class (note to self: go buy a better bra. I am not ready for my Juggy audition) and during a timed jump off, I lost control and slammed my knee into my forehead. Not surprisingly this knocked me down and almost out. The good news is that the instructor said he didn’t know people could fold in half like that. The bad news is I am a moron.

I could reduce my risk of injury by not taking any more trapeze or trampoline classes, but I really like both of them. I think from here out I’ll just be more careful and maybe not trash talk as much. Did I mention that part? Each time I get hurt it’s right after I trash talk to Jason. Tonight I called him a pussy and then karma made me hit my head.

Maybe, before I learn anything else, I should learn to keep my mouth shut. Or maybe jparks should stop being a pussy.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day jparks sent me flowers (tulips and irises) to the office and is not bitching while I watch reruns of Growing Pains. Kirk Cameron was so cute when I was 10 and before he became a crazy Christian.