I wore 30 different pairs of shoes this month.

I am feeling a bit under the weather today. Actually I’m feeling worse than under the weather, I’m feeling like I was plowed over by a steamroller that the weather was driving. I even called the doctor to make an appointment but, of course, no appointments were to be had. He phoned in a z pack for me but have yet to take the first pills. If I take the pills then I can’t drink at the office party tomorrow night but if I don’t take the pills then I might not feel well enough to go to the office party. It’s like Sophie’s Choice. How can I make this decision? It is IMPOSSIBLE.

And since I’m feeling pretty tired and not quite right, I’ll leave you with a list:

On Friday night I’m going to Lauren’s work’s holiday party as her date. And do you know what dates get? Dates get corsages! I think if I keep pushing enough she’ll give in. I mean how could you not want to see me wearing this on my wrist: clicky here. Seriously, isn’t it the most amazing, festive, breath-taking thing you’ve ever seen? I would be the belle of the ball wearing it.

The party is a casino night/karaoke/Dance Party USA thing and I am so totally excited for it. I’ve never been to real office casino night party. And I’ve only been to karaoke things in the Quarter when everyone is so drunk that you have to watch the video the next day to see that you were really there. This party has the potential to fulfill all of my dreams of what a true work holiday party can be.

But only if I get the damn corsage.

Chris Sanders (who sucks! LOSER!): “So are you two gonna get Guitar Hero for Wii? ’cause we are. And we’re gonna kick y’alls ass.”

me: “THEMS FIGHTING WORDS!”

Loser: “indeed”

me: “Dang it, jparks sucks at Guitar Hero. Can I sub in a player?”

Loser: “only if they’re an existing member of the household with opposable thumbs.”

me: “I’ll have to get him playing more often. Because we aren’t losers.”

Loser: “yet”

Can I just tell you guys that never before have I not wanted jparks on my team, but right now I would throw him under the freaking train for Lauren. Hey Lauren, you wanna move in?

Is there really any need for me to explain why Mondays suck? Does anyone out there actually like Mondays? Can we all agree that Mondays following holiday weekends are the worst?

Bad Monday Thing 1. I got up extra early this morning to finish a work project that I should have completed over the weekend, but forgot about. Then my laptop was being a bitch so I had to actually sit at my desk and work. That’s double punishment for being a slacker.

BMT 2. I got to the office, only to realize that I had a game tonight. And that game days mean going in late. Which means I could have slept in and completed my project after the sun came up. Also, I was not dressed to see clients as I was in jeans and motorcycle boots.

BMT 3. Pulled up to a red light and the guy next to me pointed at my passenger side tire and made the international symbol for “your tire is flat!” Turns out I had a nail in it. The thing is that yesterday I thought my car was driving kinda like I had a low tire but I didn’t check. You know, because that would have been the smart thing to do.

BMT 4. Got to Wheel Works and found out this is the 4th nail I’ve had in my tires in a year. How many plugs can tires have before they just explode? Perhaps I should stop driving around construction yards looking for hot pieces of ass. I think that’s where I keep getting nailed.

BMT 5. I wore a thin-ish shirt with a thin-ish bra. I kept everyone updated about the temperature all day.

BMT 6. Since the tire place had my car there was no afternoon coffee for me. And we all know how chipper I am when I miss a caffeine dose.

BMT 7. Kevin DuBrow was found dead. WHY GOD WHY?!? I’m going to mourn in my own way, light a candle and softly sing “Cum On Feel the Noize”

You may have noticed (assuming anyone other than me is paying attention) that no new shoe pictures have been posted since 11.20.07. What can I say, I’m a slacker. I’ve been taking the pictures but I’ve just been too darn busy to move the pictures from the sd card to the computer. But I promise I haven’t repeated any shoes and I will get the pictures posted, probably tomorrow.

It’s funny how hard this year’s NaBloPoMo and NoBloShoeMo. In the past few days I’ve had to let one of these projects slide and, since I knew I could catch up on the shoes with no repercussions, they were the ones that went on temporary hiatus. And while ditching the daily shoe upload did allow me to only worry about blog posts this hasn’t really help me find content. If anything I should have been posting the shoe pics and talking about them, rather than boring everyone with reasons why my pets are awesome.

Thankfully this month is almost over and I only have 5 days left to fill with words and pictures. Hopefully I’ll have some great revelation about content or else you’ll be treated to 5 more days of me basically type rambling. It’s like regular rambling, but without all the ums and uhs.

Reasons why Molly is my favorite:

I survived my first time hosting Thanksgiving, although it was questionable if I was going to make it towards the end. Apparently, staying up until 1am cooking sides and then getting up at 6am to put the turkey in the oven, was not a good plan. And did you know that it’s a myth that the turkey takes HOURS AND HOURS to roast? In reality, a 22.59lb bird only takes about 3.5 to 4 hours to cook. So basically I got up at the crack of dawn for nothing.

Oh, and I cooked the bird with the baggie of giblets in it. Totally not my fault! Before brining, I tried to reach into the bird’s ass to remove the extra bits, but then decided that I wasn’t feeling up to groping around the cavity, so I put jparks in charge of the job. He reached in, removed the neck, and then claimed that he didn’t feel anything else. I kept insisting that there had to be more, but he assured me that there wasn’t. Jump ahead to the next day when, after carving the bird, a plastic baggie was discovered. Not surprisingly it contained some cooked giblets. I was totally embarrassed, but also impressed that the bag hadn’t melted. I guess turkey farms have gotten smart to how stupid some people are (read as: me and jparks) and are using melt-proof baggies.

All in all, I think the day was a success. We ended up having more food than could fit on the table and now have leftovers to last another week. The house handled having 13 people in it and no one seemed to mind having to balance their plate on their laps. It might not have been the traditional Thanksgiving people are used to, but I still think everyone had fun.

In closing, I would like to share some pearls of wisdom I learned from the day:

jparks was swiffer wet jetting the floors this morning (the cleaning crew didn’t show up yesterday as planned)

“I hate cleaning the floors! I’m no good at it! This sexy body was not built for housework!”

Happy Thanksgiving!

It is 11:48pm and this is the first time I’ve sat down since 3pm. Thus far I’ve made:

Why did that short list take me that long? I haven’t a clue. These people coming tomorrow better recognize my mad skillz.

sigh, so tired. tiiiiiirrrreeed.