I’ve been trying to clean out some of the closets and drawers in our house and this has led me to realize some things that I knew, but that I didn’t know. Like that I actually own more pairs of nice jeans than I need. That my clothes weight enough to break the closet rod. And that I have a bit of a mascara addiction.

Hello world, I’m Regan and I have a total mascara addiction. I can’t see a mascara and not feel compelled to buy it. And it doesn’t help that I haven’t found a mascara that I’m willing to commit to yet. I’ve found some that I like a whole lot and am even willing to buy more than once (as you can tell from the 4 tubes of Lash Exact), but I just keep thinking that there has to be a better one out there.

And since I know you’re really dying to know what I think about these, here goes, from left to right:

If I had to pick, I would continue to buy the Lash Exact as my drugstore brand and the Too Faced as my expensive brand. I really want to try this one, but $34 for mascara is a bit painful. Has anyone tried it? Am I missing out? Is it awesome? Tell me it’s horrible, please.

Today I placed an order for another bottle of the perfume I wear. And while this is normally not that interesting of a feat, once I tell you what the brand is you’ll wonder why I don’t go hang my head in shame.

About two years ago I went to Sephora and was sniffing around the perfume area for something new. A salesgirl came over and I told her that I typically like vanilla based scents or things that have food notes. Because I like it when I’m tempted to lick my own arm. She said that a perfume had just come out that I would love and, without letting me see the bottle, she spritzed some on me. The scent was wonderful, a perfect mix of things I would cram into my mouth without a second thought. When I asked what the name of the perfume was she said “Well, it’s brand new! Created with a certain celebrity in mind! She loved it so much that she has put her name on it! It’s Fantasy by Britney Spears!”

Yeah, seriously. Brit-Brit had made the best smelling perfume I had ever used and I had no choice but to buy it. Since discovering Fantasy I’ve purchased a few other perfumes, and while they are all nice, they just don’t react with my body chemistry the way the Fantasy does. As my latest bottle started to run out I was faced with a dilemma: continue to buy Eau de Crazy or start the hunt for an adult perfume that doesn’t come in a bottle that looks like it was designed by an 11 year old.

I’ve opted to continue using the perfume (obviously. Otherwise this post would be pointless) for a couple of reasons. I feel like I need to show my support for Britney. So the girl’s not the smartest celebrity out there, but how boring would the internet be without her? And because no one wants to admit that they wear Fantasy anymore, you can find it hella cheap online. And did I mention the wanting to lick my own arm when I’m wearing it? Because I honestly kinda do want to.

Brit-Brit, I know you’ve done a lot of crazy things that no one really understands, but damn you know a good perfume. And while other folks may mock you for your antics, I’ve still got your back. You don’t have to say thanks, I know you appreciate it.

I’m not a particularly girly girl, but I’m not really a tomboy either. I do have a few stereotypical girl traits though: I love shoes, walking around the mall even if I don’t need anything, and makeup. The shoes and mall thing make sense to me, but my obsession with makeup is an enigma.

On a daily basis I wear little to no makeup. We all know of my recent discovery of mascara and other than that I maybe wear a little chapstick or, if I’m feeling saucy, some lip gloss. Woohoo, a hint of color! I am a crazy woman.

But if I’m dropped into a Sephora than all hell breaks loose. I go into a trance and when I come to my senses again I’ve got a bag of makeup in my hands worth enough to feed a family of four for weeks. Maybe even months if one of the salesgirls has approached me offering help.

Last year Sephora offered a Blockbuster Palette that made me feel tingly in my special place but before I could order one, they were out of stock and I was left to mope about, lamenting the fact that I did not have one. damn you Spehora and your poor planning! You and Nintendo should get together and laugh over how you like to not meet the needs of society.

Well, imagine my surprise and excitement when they brought the palette back this year. With new colors! And a higher price tag! (figures. bitches.) I, of course, ordered one and then checked the tracking every day (multiple times each day) to watch my precious make its way across the country to my loving arms. Once it arrived I threw jparks out and the Palette and I had a few moments of alone time. It was all I was expecting and more.

I’ve had it for a few days now and I’m kinda a bit nuts about it. It arrived on Wednesday and on Thursday and Friday I brought it to work with me. Yeah, really. It sat on my desk and stared at me all day. My bosses asked what it was and when I exclaimed “Makeup!” and then opened it to show them, they just looked at me like I was a lunatic. And maybe I am because I’ve yet to actually use any of the makeup in it.

Right now it’s so pretty and new I can’t bring myself to drag a brush through any of it. I want it to stay perfect. I like looking at all of the little colors contained into their spots all perfectly untouched and fresh. I like how the lip glosses have perfectly smooth tops. And how the eye shadows haven’t been accidentally touch by a brush with another color on it, contaminating the first color.

I mean, look at this, doesn’t it make you a bit randy:

Seriously, I love it. And maybe tomorrow I’ll actually use it. Yeah, tomorrow definitely.

I mentioned in my last post that the new medicine I’m taking causes sun sensitivity. As I’m pretty sensitive to the sun on my own, I started to worry that with help I would turn into a pile of ashes in 30 seconds outside. So this weekend, I took matters in my own hands, and waged war against the sun and its damaging rays.

I use this lotion every day:

It has spf 15 in it, which is great for the winter, but I’m thinking I need more protection than that for the summer.

I then realized that my makeup also has spf 15 in it:

And while both of these, especially when used together, are great for a normal person, I felt like I needed more protection. Way, way more protection.

I headed directly to Target where, after scanning the face lotions, I was feeling a little discouraged. Most had spf 15 in them and none seemed to provide more than that. Are the pale girls of the world not supposed to go outside? Do we have to hide in the shadows and never enjoy the sun? That hardly seems fair.

But then I saw it, my lifesaver in a tube:

Spf 70. Hell yeah. I plan on using this religiously all summer and hope to make it to next fall as pale as I am now. Wish me luck.

As anyone who will stand still and listen to me whine knows, I’ve been feeling stuck in a fashion rut. The casual office atmosphere of California blind-sided me and I adapted to it much too quickly, with arms way too open. I went from wearing dresses and heels daily to living in jeans, tee shirts, and comfy shoes. And while I don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of those items, I was starting to feel boring. And old.

Desperately wanting help, I turned to a very nice person with a very helpful fashion focused blog. And boy, help is what she gave. She wrote a long post packed with tons of tips to cure me of my fashion ailments. It was such a helpful piece that jparks even read it, and today said “You’re wearing an accessory, just like the post said to do!” (nevermind that I was wearing a necklace that I wear all the time. I was just impressed he read a fashion article)

I’ve taken Susan’s advice to heart and am planning on stocking up on chinos, strappy sandals, and a jean jacket as soon as I can get to a mall. Or wrestle the credit card out of jparks’ wallet. Until then, I’m shopping my own closet and hoping for the best.

And because she asked so nicely, here’s a picture of today’s outfit. I dug out some jeans from the Gap (I noticed after leaving the house that they are just a bit too long, even with heels), a silk shirt from Banana Republic, and some heels I had forgotten about. It was a simple outfit, but somehow felt better than my normal work uniform.

Now if I could only find the time to flat iron my hair and throw on some makeup I’d be unstoppable.

I’m in the grasp of a crisis and I need Scooby Doo and the rest of his cronies to come help me solve the mystery of the lip gloss.

I keep two little pots of lip gloss on my desk at work since my lips tend to get rather parched in this dry California climate. One is your standard Smith’s Rosebud Salve and the other is also a Smith’s but it’s Strawberry scented and wonderful and, as proved over the weekend, impossible to resist.

When I came in this morning I grabbed my strawberry lip gloss and was about to apply it when, egads!, I noticed someone had used it. I was so immediately grossed out that I couldn’t even function enough to put the little pot down. I just sat there, very confused, wondering what kind of sick person uses a stranger’s lip gloss. And I’m sure it wasn’t my boss or coworker that used it, so that leaves the cleaning crew. Let’s summarized shall we? A complete stranger stuck their finger in my irresistible strawberry lip gloss and swiped it across their mouth. And they possibly stuck their finger back in for another go. The worst part of this whole situation is that I just bought that lip gloss and had only used it, maybe, three times.

I bet you’re wondering how I know someone used my lip gloss. Well, I guess this is when I finally reveal to the world that I’m a little weird about certain things. Some people have noticed that I take the second thing from the shelf when shopping. I’m not big on buying the only shirt in my size from a store; if possible I want a fresh one. Display shoes? Yesterday I bought a pair of shoes that were on display and it took quite a bit out of me. And when I got home I noticed the toe was scuffed just a teeny tiny bit and I said to myself “You shouldn’t have bought the display pair, others have tried them on.” And display makeup? Well, I have too many rules to even get into here.

The thing with my lip gloss pots is I only use one small area of the gloss. I like to leave the rest smooth and shiny and new looking. See here:

I only use that one little scooped area. And the rest is all shiny and new.

And here is the strawberry lip gloss as I found it this morning

Look at the disregard for my scooping system. The whole pot was shiny and new before they used it, did they think they wouldn’t be caught?

And just because, here is the evidence side-by-side

Oh, the horrors! And please note that the darker lip gloss also has a second little splotch in it. I didn’t do that, so basically this person used both of my lip glosses.

I know I may seem like a nut job, but lip gloss stealing is a gateway crime, it leads to harder ones like baby seal clubbing and crack dealing. This person needs to be stopped for their own good. Scooby Doo, where are you?