Last night jparks and I went up to San Francisco so I could run Bay to Breakers this morning. We left our house last night and had to turn around to get my hydration pack, which I had left on the couch. We got to our friend’s house in SF and went to dinner, where I had a second serving of rice covered in coconut milk (got to carb load! Okay, not really for a 12k, but mmm coconut milk rice) and then we promptly went to bed so I could get a full night’s sleep before my big race day.

This morning, before my alarm went off, I sat up, turned to jparks and said “I don’t have a sports bra.” Not sure why that thought didn’t occur to me the night before or why that was the very first thing I thought of in the morning but let’s say I wasn’t thrilled with this realization.

I know B2B wasn’t a super long race and it’s not what I’m training for, but I was really looking forward to running it. It’s one thing to run 7.46 miles on my own, but to run it on a course, with other runners, and people that are cheering (not necessarily for me, but I can pretend) is something special. It’s fun. It’s motivating. It makes getting up 5 days a week at 6am and running around my cold neighborhood worthwhile. And thanks to my absent-mindedness I couldn’t experience any of that. Stupid boobs.

After deciding that I wasn’t walking the race (I only had my spandex running capris and wicking mesh shirt with me. And while those are okay to run in, I have no desire to walk the streets of SF looking like a total tool) I told jparks that bacon and mimosas would help ease my pain. So off to Crepevine we went where I indulged in some therapeutic bacon and a sweet crepe that was served with ice cream. Yes folks, I had some ice cream for breakfast. And a glass of fresh squeezed oj mixed with some bubbly. Missing the race sucked, but brunch really did help it suck less.

Ice cream!

Nom nom nom

Let the real healing begin!

I have been embracing the idea of running the marathon whole heartedly; finding books to read, researching running groups, and making training plans. But I with all of these informational sources comes new knowledge. New, scary as all hell, stops me dead in my slow-paced-barely-able-to-breath tracks. I knew about many of the risks involved with running; shin splints, joint problems, and dehydration did not deter me from wanting to train. But then I read about “runner’s nipple” and I’ve got to admit, I’m scared. Will someone hold me?

Here, let me share: “As the clothing next to the skin absorbs sweat, the clothing becomes more gritty and increases the friction against the nipples. It can become so severe in some runners that the nipples actually begin to bleed.”

Dude, running long distances can cause your nipples to BLEED. Blood will be coming from your nipples. Just thinking about this makes me want to die, but not from blood lose through my nipples. It makes me want to die in a dignified way, like chocking to death during a hot dog eating contest.

The book goes on to suggest either covering your nipples with band-aids or lubricating them with Vaseline to prevent nipple blow outs. (okay, it doesn’t actually call it nipple blow outs, but typing nipple blow outs makes me giggle) I’m trying to picture me applying Vaseline to my nipples before starting the marathon. I think ideally you would want to apply right before you start running so it doesn’t absorb into the sports bra before you even get to the start line. I’m also trying to picture reapplying it at some point during the race. Run, run, run, dab, dab, dab.

Do you think they have lube stations situated throughout the course? Like a water station put instead of grabbing a cup of water, you grab a little pot of Vaseline? If they don’t have lub stations, should I have various friends spread around the course holding pots of Vaseline for me? Would you come out to man a lubrication station? We could make tee shirts that say “Lub’ing up to save Regan’s nipples!” Or how about: “Team No Nipple Bleeding” Maybe: “Ask me how I can save your nipples” And finally: “Working to prevent nipple blow outs one boob at a time”

Any volunteers?

Big thank yous to everyone that has donated thus far. The great news is that I’m close to my goal. The not so great news is that while I’m close, but not there yet. I still need to raise $40 to reach my goal but the SF Komen Race Center is still 40% away from its overall goal. Now I know that I can’t personally raise $241,134 but I know we can do our part and meet my goal. Maybe we can even raise a bit more than that $500.

And if you’re on the fence about donating let me say that the Race is going to be torture for me. It’s been cold the past couple of mornings and running has made me feel like my lungs are filled with ice. And the race is happening a bit north of here which means it’ll be even colder. So for your donation you get to be in your warm bed having warm dreams and I get to be out running in the cold trying to not keel over from frost bite. Okay maybe not frost bite, but I’ll definitely have cold hands. And a runny nose. A runny nose people! That’s just torture.

Clicky click.

Come on people, we’ve got 12 days until the Race and I still need to raise $190 to meet my goal. Let’s all click and give for a good cause.

Hooray for boobies!

I met one of my neighbors yesterday while I wearing a shirt with two unicorns humping on it. What a great way to make a first impression. I hope she didn’t run off and tell the rest of the neighborhood that delinquents have moved in. I would hate to have to toilet paper everyone’s porches to prove them right.

In other news, I have my stripper class today and I can’t even begin to find words for how sexy it will be. This morning I couldn’t find my razor so I didn’t shave my legs. yay for built in leg warmers! And the studio suggests you wear “sexy work out clothes” and not bring shoes as they will provide you with stilettos. Seeing as how I don’t even know what “sexy work out clothes” are, much less own any, I’m wearing gray capri workout pants and the previously mentioned humping unicorns shirt. I thought it would be appropriate. And maybe humping unicorns equals sexy? This will look amazing once I slip into a pair of four inch lucite heels. Fingers crossed that they have blinky lights in the heels!

Also, it’s time to hit you kind folks up for more money. The race is quickly approaching and we haven’t reached our goal yet. clicky clicky to save boobies.

Folks, we are currently only 42% of the way to our goal to raise $500 for the saving of the boobies. 42%! We can do better!

If you don’t want your name and the amount you donated scrolling on this site, that’s totally fine. You can either tell it to add your name, tell it a fake name, or tell it you want to be anonmous. If you were afraid of looking like you have a heart and that would tarnish your bad ass image, just don’t tell it your name. Tell it your name is Shithead. That would be awesome.

Come on people, clicky clicky

Man, you people are cold. You were even able to resist Lily’s pleas for yur money. Well, I’m tapped out of ideas for now. If you don’t want to give, apparently, I can’t make you. Maybe you’re all saving your allowances for the big Harry Potter release this weekend. Maybe you’ll donate after that? Maybe? Please?*

Besides having you people kill me with your ungiving nature (Is that mean? I think it’s mean. I’m sorry.) not much has been going on. Are you really surprised? Jparks and I aren’t really that interesting. In fact, last week his bestest friend came out here and jparks could barely find the energy to go do things with him. I think we might really be 90 years old. We should go see if we can find a swimming pool full of cocoons to swim in. That might give us the energy we need to live like normal people.

The most exciting thing to happen lately is that Tuesday night jparks and I were in bed trying to fall asleep. The room was dark, Lily was tucked in, and I decided to give my loving husband a wet willy. Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’ve been hanging out with jparks too long, I’m starting to pick up his annoying habits.

Of course, he had to retaliate and he did this by trying to give my butt a wet willy. Keyword in that sentence is try as he was not successful thanks to my mad butt clinching skillz. Yeah, I have butt clinching skillz. I know it’s not normal, but you would not believe the skillz you need when you’re married to jparks.

*I started this post at work and when I went to finish it at home I had another donation. Thanks Jennifer, you’re not ungiving!

If you haven’t donated you really should, otherwise Lily’s feelings will be hurt. And we really don’t want to upset the world’s cutest chihuahua. Clicky ckicky

Thanks to Lauren, Whitney, and Carolyn for donating!

What time of year is it exactly? It’s time for everyone to make a donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation by clicking here. This year’s race is September 23rd and, like last year, I plan on running the race and raising some funds to support the cause.

Last year I raised a tiny bit more then my personal goal. I am extremely grateful for all of the support I received and I hope to surpass this year’s goal as well. Speaking of which, I raised my goal (just by a bit) because I know we can do it! And because I think I have more people reading this blog than last year. (it’s the sexy pictures of jparks that keep bringing people in) And more people means more money! At least, that’s what I hope.

It’s super easy to donate and even if you’re only able to give $5, it helps. The Komen Foundation is the largest, non-government foundation providing funding for breast cancer research and by the end of 2007 they will have invested more than $1 billion towards research. Tons more info about the Foundation can be found here.

So, as jparks likes to say, “Let’s all save boobies!” Also, the sooner you all donate money and we reach the goal, the sooner I stop begging for money and we can get back to sexy jparks pictures. Come on, you know you want more of the sexy beast. Clicky clicky

I’ve got another couple of trampoline lessons coming up (assuming I don’t knock myself out in the first 5 minutes of class) and I’m a bit concerned about my lovely lady humps.

As I previously mentioned, I am not ready for a juggy audition and need to find a way to strap them down for fear that they’ll bounce into harm’s way. The sports bras I have aren’t doing the trick and, if I’m remembering correctly, they are max support ones.

So I’m turning to you dear friends for support (har har, get it?) and help. What do you suggest I use to keep the humps in check? Is there a miracle brand of sports bra I don’t know about? Is there a trick that’s well known to everyone but me? I’ve got to figure something out or else my trampoline career might be ending soon.