Today I placed an order for another bottle of the perfume I wear. And while this is normally not that interesting of a feat, once I tell you what the brand is you’ll wonder why I don’t go hang my head in shame.

About two years ago I went to Sephora and was sniffing around the perfume area for something new. A salesgirl came over and I told her that I typically like vanilla based scents or things that have food notes. Because I like it when I’m tempted to lick my own arm. She said that a perfume had just come out that I would love and, without letting me see the bottle, she spritzed some on me. The scent was wonderful, a perfect mix of things I would cram into my mouth without a second thought. When I asked what the name of the perfume was she said “Well, it’s brand new! Created with a certain celebrity in mind! She loved it so much that she has put her name on it! It’s Fantasy by Britney Spears!”

Yeah, seriously. Brit-Brit had made the best smelling perfume I had ever used and I had no choice but to buy it. Since discovering Fantasy I’ve purchased a few other perfumes, and while they are all nice, they just don’t react with my body chemistry the way the Fantasy does. As my latest bottle started to run out I was faced with a dilemma: continue to buy Eau de Crazy or start the hunt for an adult perfume that doesn’t come in a bottle that looks like it was designed by an 11 year old.

I’ve opted to continue using the perfume (obviously. Otherwise this post would be pointless) for a couple of reasons. I feel like I need to show my support for Britney. So the girl’s not the smartest celebrity out there, but how boring would the internet be without her? And because no one wants to admit that they wear Fantasy anymore, you can find it hella cheap online. And did I mention the wanting to lick my own arm when I’m wearing it? Because I honestly kinda do want to.

Brit-Brit, I know you’ve done a lot of crazy things that no one really understands, but damn you know a good perfume. And while other folks may mock you for your antics, I’ve still got your back. You don’t have to say thanks, I know you appreciate it.

Dear Amanda Peet,

I bet you didn’t know that we share birthdays. Yup, you, me, and Mary J. Blige were all brought into this world on the same day. I’m assuming only awesome people are born on January 11th, because the three of us are just that. But, Amanda, we have way more than just our birthdays in common. In fact, we are so similar I think we could be best friends.

According to imdb.com the following are bits of trivia about you. These bits of trivia also relate to me in many ways:

See Amanda, you and I, basically the same person. Have your people call my people and set up a lunch.

Sincerely,
Regan Parks

from cnn.com:

Reality TV star Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39

Okay, so I don’t love that she’s dead, I mean, I’m not evil. But I love that this woman was her own soap opera. She gives birth and her other child dies while visiting her in the hospital. THEN she marries Howard K. Stern, her attorney, but it’s not legal because they married in the Bahamas (or some other foreign island country). THEN she claims Stern is the father of her new child, not the other guy that says the kid is his. THEN she refuses to have a DNA test performed on the baby. THEN she gets sued because the diet pill she was spokesperson for doesn’t work. THEN she dies in the Hard Rock Hotel. And all of this happened in the past two weeks. (Or past few months, but whatever)

Seriously, has there ever been a celebrity with more drama? And I’m not even getting into the fact that she was a stripper and married some guy that was like 164 years old. And convinced her whole family to get tattoos of her on various parts of their body.

Good lord, I’m going to miss Anna Nicole.

[update] A judge just ordered her body to be preserved. PRESERVED! It’s like she’s Cleopatra. Will a mummified Anna Nicole be scarier than a living Anna Nicole?

1. Justin can really dance. I mean, I knew he could dance, but seeing him live made me realize he can really dance

2. Teenage girls, when put into one arena, can form a scream-like noise that will crawl into your head and leave a mark forever visible on cat scans. You’ll be 80 years-old and the doctors will know that you once went to a Justin Timberlake concert.

3. Teenage girls, when given the chance to be under the same roof as Justin Timberlake, will dress as skanky as humanly possible. You know, just in case he wanders off the stage, past the floor crowd, and into the cheap seats, these 13 year-old will be ready to seduce him.

4. My small digital camera has video capabilities. Really crappy video capabilities, but video capabilities none the less.

5. I can’t hold a video camera steady.

6. Even from a distance, Justin Timberlake is hot.

Frickin’ laser beams:

Either I’m psychic or I’ve got the power to control the universe with my blog.

Are you not a believer? Well, here and here.

The next question is, what Hollywood couple should I break up now?

Now that Brit has finally signed up for one of them fancy divorce things from K-Fed, I can only hope and pray that Justin Timberlake leaves Cameron Diaz, rides in on his white horse, marries Britney, and becomes the father that those two babies deserve.

I’m sorry Cameron, but I think you look like E.T. in a blonde wig and everyone knows Justin has always had feelings for Brit. It’s their destiny to be together, you’ve just been the rebound woman all this time. I’m sorry to be the person that you hear this from, but someone had to give you a warning of what’s to come. You can try to make Justin jealous after he dumps you by dating other people (hey, I hear K-Fed’s available) but don’t expect it to work, Brit and Justin are the real thing. Their love is a classic love, a beautiful love deeply rooted in all things good and pure like the Mickey Mouse Club and unicorns.